


A Sin for Us All

by Sonamuhproblem



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age II
Genre: Dragon Age - Freeform, Dragon Age 2 - Freeform, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 20:06:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10861146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonamuhproblem/pseuds/Sonamuhproblem
Summary: Our timeline is Act II. Hawke and Carver have just lost their mother. Hawke and Sebastian are together. Marian Hawke is a Mage posing as a rogue. Carver is a grey warden due to the deep roads incident.I was never satisfied with only one companion ending up with a happy ending. So in this one, every person has their soul mate's name appear somewhere on their body, at some point in their life. Each of our companions will finally have their own other halves.This is an AU story. A small group from our world find themselves in the Dragon Age world under some very interesting circumstances. The timeline only matches up until Leandra Hawke's death. From here, it'll get a little strange and a lot of fun.*The first chapter is somewhat long. Mostly to help in setting the scene. Other chapters may or may not be close to this length. This is my first story. It's been running through my head for a while now, and I finally needed to get it out. Let me know what you guys think!*





	1. And He Felt Fear

Pain. Pain was all she could feel. It burned her flesh. It burned her blood. She could feel the blades cutting her open, allowing the Lyrium to flow through her body like a river. She couldn't scream. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. There was only pain. More and more they carved into her. Everywhere. Her arms, her legs, her chest and back. It never ended. It was never enough.

And then they'd moved a needle above her eye. 

 

She bolted upright. The pain fresh from her nightmare. It had been months since she'd escaped. But her mind couldn't forget the pain. Couldn't let her forget what they'd done to her. 

She shivered and desperately tried to calm herself. Her room was quiet. The fire had burned out hours ago. 

Looking to her left, she realized she wasn't alone. Bri had crawled into bed with her at some point. Bri had her own nightmares and often slept best when with company. 

Not wanting to wake her, Jay slipped from bed gently and made her way to the bathroom. With a wave of her hand, the candles were aflame and she was able to find the rum she kept in the wardrobe. Rum always helped her sleep through the night. 

Not wanting to be awake any longer, she downed the bottle in under a minute. The familiar burn in her chest brought her comfort. 

Another wave and the candles went out. Jay relit the fire in the bedroom on her way back to bed. Brianna always got cold during the night. And would often stick her ice cube toes against Jay in the middle of the night. 

Tomorrow would be a long day. The two of them were going into the city. Bri wanted to go shopping. And shopping with Bri was a truly exhausting experience. Especially when it involved Kirkwall. Because where else could Brianna get her hands on the goods of so many ships all at once? 

Jay would need to take rum with her in order to make it through tomorrow, she decided. She was going to need several bottles to survive it. 

"And I'll just buy even more while I'm surviving that torture," she smiled at that thought. And sleep claimed her once again. 

 

"Jay..... Jay...... Jay!!!! Wake up, wake up! You said you'd take me shopping, remember? This time, I'll convince you to buy yourself a hat!"

The wake up call had been the last thing Jay had wanted. 

"I hate hats, Bri."

"A dress then!" Bri said with a painfully large smile.

"I have a personal seamstress who makes all of my clothes. All of OUR clothes."

Bri, never one to give up, "Ok, so what about a cake then? We like food."

"Fine. A cake. Whatever."

The smile never leaving Bri's face, "Travis and Aurora will be back in a few days right? We can get them their favorite sweets too. I miss everyone when they're not here. I'll write to Cara when we get back. I still haven't met her mate."

The journey to Kirkwall was not made in silence. Brianna kept the conversation going with only the occasional response from Jay. That's how it always was for them. Jay was the quiet one of their odd companions. Never having much to say unless absolutely necessary.

Upon entering Kirkwall though, even Bri slowed her chatting. Jay always stood out wherever she went. It was one of the reasons she preferred staying out of the city. She didn't mind the states or even the comments people made. It was when people wanted to touch her that she had issues. The last time a man had been foolish enough to touch her, she'd broken both of his arms before holding her dagger against his crotch and warning him to never even think of touching her again. Her markings had always tempted too many people. 

 

Since then, Bri always did her best to be aware of their surroundings the prevent anyone from getting close enough to touch Jay again. 

"Let's start in Lowtown, ok?" Bri suggested quietly. 

Bri enjoyed Lowtown. For whatever reason. She claimed the market was more lively than the stiff counterpart: Hightown. 

Nearly two hours later, Brianna finally picked a hat. It looked ridiculous, but it made Bri happy. So Jay said nothing and handed over the coin for it. 

 

Fenris and Hawke had been on their way to the Hanged Man when he saw her. It felt like he'd been slammed into a wall. A woman with the exact same markings as him. Though hers looked even more delicate than his. It looked like she merely had vines wrapped around her. 

He'd come to a complete stop the moment he saw her. She had long, black hair. Curled down her back. It fell to her hips. She was short. Likely only a few inches taller than Varric, but still tall enough to not be a dwarf. Her skin was pale. A harsh contrast against the black markings on her skin. He'd have thought them just tattoos if not for the edges of the markings glowing a bright silver. 

She was with another woman. This one was blonde. And significantly taller than the other. Probably close to being Hawke's height. 

The blonde one kept twirling a purple hat around while the black haired one smiled and nodded to something her friend must've said. 

"Fen.... Why does she look like you?"

Hawke's question snapped him out of his trance. The women were turning a corner now, headed in the direction of the alienage. 

"I'm not sure..." was all he managed to say. 

"Let's follow them. See where they go or what they do."

Fenris merely nodded as he and Hawke trailed the two women. His wrist was hot. Under his gauntlet, where the name he'd carried since he was a child was hidden. He didn't know what it said. Or why it burned. He'd have to ask Hawke both of those questions later. 

They trailed the two women to the alienage. They spoke with several of the elves living there. The Elven people seemed pleased to see them. It was strange. Even in the alienage, few outsiders were welcomed warmly. 

The woman with the markings handed several pouches to those she greeted. They would then hand her small sacks as well. 

"She's paying them for something?"

Fenris shrugged, unsure, "but what is she buying from the alienage?"

The two women turned toward the stairs where Fenris and Hawke were watching, intending the leave the alienage. Fenris and Hawke, in an uncoordinated shuffle, managed to hide behind some battles, out of sight, as the two walked past. 

"I suppose we should drop in to Darktown, huh? We can catch up on our deep and dirty gossip!"

He couldn't see which one had said it, but he was sure it was the blonde woman. Fenris didn't hear a response of any kind though. The smaller woman must've nodded or something. Fenris felt slight annoyance at that, though he didn't understand why. Had he wanted to hear her voice? No. That couldn't be it. 

"Let's move before we lose them," Hawke spoke in a hushed tone. 

Again, Fenris could only nod in response to Hawke. 

Once they'd arrived in Darktown, both Fenris and Hawke noticed immediately that a group of thugs were also following the two women. Though it appeared that the thugs hadn't noticed them. The two women turned to go behind a building: the perfect place for them to be ambushed. 

"What do we do? Do we stop them?" Hawke asked in barely more than a whisper.

"We might have to. Those women weren't armed at all. What were they thinking coming here?" Fenris couldn't help the anger in his voice. Two beautiful women wandering around Darktown without a single weapon. Were they that stupid?

The thugs followed the two behind the building. Both Fenris and Hawke hurried to catch up to them to stop whatever crime the thugs had planned to commit. 

They were stopped short when they came around the corner to find all but one of the thugs dead. The black haired woman was standing over the last thug, but seemed hesitant to finish him off. It looked as though he was very young. It was unlikely he was even an adult yet. 

Instead, she took the thug's bow and aimed an arrow directly at Fenris and Hawke. 

"You should just come on out now. She will shoot."

Hawke gave a dry laugh, "ok, ok. You've got us. We had planned on helping you two out, but it seems we didn't need to be concerned."

Hawke and Fenris came into their view and the bow was lowered. 

He could see her better now. And she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Clad in black shorts and a black shirt that had no sleeves. She wore black boots that stopped at her ankles. Fenris' eyes fell first to her hips. Her hips were wide and full. Her waist was slim, but her bosom was full. Her lips were full and deep shade of rose. As though bruised from a kiss. Her nose was small and delicate with high cheekbones. Then met her eyes. And it felt as though his heart stopped. 

She had gray eyes with an odd tint of purple to them. Surrounded by dark, full lashes. And dark brows above them. She was expressionless. Simply meeting his gaze. 

At least at first. Her eyes widened after a second and turned her head quickly to the side. Looking towards the ground. 

He glanced to the blonde friend and realized she was staring at him. Wide eyed with her mouth open in shock. She looked at him, then her friend. Back to him, and then back at her friend. She did this a few more times before shaking her head and glancing at Hawke. 

"If you planned to help us, why did you follow us all the way from Lowtown?"

Now it was Hawke's turn to be shocked, "Well. You've got me there. We saw her," tilting her head in the black haired woman's direction,"and couldn't help but be curious. For obvious reasons." 

Fenris finally spoke, "why didn't you kill him?"

The black haired woman turned her head sharply in response, but quickly averted her gaze again. Leaving the blonde to respond, "He wanted to die. His life was so bad, he was glad to die. He's probably only 17. He's too young to want to die." 

"Well, he's bleeding a decent amount. We know a healer neaby. We could take him there. Get him treated at the very least." Hawke offered helpfully. 

The blonde narrowed her eyes slightly, "we don't know either of you. So we'd prefer to ensure his arrival to this 'healer' if you don't mind."

Hawke only nodded in agreement and added, "My name is Hawke. This is Fenris."

Seeming pleased at introductions, the blonde responded, "You can call me 'Bri'"

When the black haired woman said nothing, Bri frowned. "You should at least tell them your name."

She finally raised her head again, and Fenris held his breath. Would she finally speak? 

"Jay."

Her voice. It played over and over in his mind. Just that one simple word. Her name. Her lips had only parted long enough to say it, but it had been enough to knock the wind out of his lungs. 

Hawke, however, just looked confused, "'J?' Like the letter? Just a letter?"

The one called Bri laughed, "Yes. That's what she goes by now."

Hawke, sensing the lightening mood, smiled. "Okay. We'll let's head to my healer friend. Fenris and I can carry the boy."

The walk to Anders was a silent one. The two women walked a few feet off to the right of Fenris and Hawke. It didn't take long to arrive at the clinic. Hawke and Fenris went in first, leaving Bri and Jay to follow. 

Anders glanced up from the book he was reading and greeted Hawke kindly. Fenris and Anders despised each other. So neither acknowledged the other. 

Hawke provided introductions, however, "Anders, this is Bri. And this is Jay." 

Bri brought her hand to her right shoulder, mouth hanging open, "What? Your name is what?"

Anders grabbed his upper arm as well and simply stared at her. 

Neither said anything, and Jay must've understood what was happening as she handled introductions, "Brianna. Anderson. Anderson. Brianna." 

Hawke finally figured out what had happened. "The names! You two?! Wait... Your name is actually 'Anderson'? What the hell?"

Brianna and Anderson both moved at the same time. Stepping tentatively towards each other. Smiles slowly forming on their faces. Brianna, clearly not being one for patience, broke into a run, clearing the distance and closing her lips on Anderson's. 

Fenris felt awkward, but found himself staring again at Jay. She was smiling at Brianna. Happy for her friend at finding her soul mate. 

When the kiss finally broke, Anders explained "I felt the name burning. I didn't know what it meant. It was you. I finally found you." 

Fenris frowned. Burning? His wrist had burned when he saw Jay. What did that mean for him? He cursed again that he couldn't read even the name he had carried all these years. 

Fenris looked again at Jay. Wanting to understand what this all meant for them. She had shown no reaction to him at all. And he was sure the name on his wrist was longer than "Jay." He was probably wrong. He wasn't lucky enough to find someone who would actually want him. He was a damaged slave after all. No beautiful woman would truly want him. 

"Anderson? This boy... He's injured. Not badly. They said you could help." 

It was the most she'd spoken, and both Fenris and Hawke were shocked at having heard her complete multiple sentences. Fenris noticed she had a slight accent, though he couldn't place it at all. 

"Of course! Sorry about the delay in treatment! Hawke, could you bring him over to the chair?" Anders spoke in a rushed tone. Back to business for him. 

It took Anders no more than a few minutes to heal the boy. Once treatment was complete, the boy only stared at Jay. As if unsure about what would happen to him now. 

After several minutes of silence, Jay finally spoke, "You aren't good at fighting. What are you good at?"

The boy, shocked, didn't respond immediately, "Not much. I've never had training of any sort. Those guys took me from the streets and told me I had to fight for them or die. So I fought."

Jay nodded, bringing her hand to her chin and seemed to be thinking deeply, "Ok. Then you can come work for me. You'll be paid. You'll be fed. Sheltered. We'll figure out what you're good at, and you'll be trained in it. Can you read? I'll teach you that too, if not. My house is noisy. Lots of loud people and kids. If none of that it to your liking, you're free to go now."

In tears at this point, the boy only stared at her, a mixture of awe and shock on his face.

"You'd take me in? But I tried to kill you..."

"Yes. And we already established you suck at killing. You look like you're ready to give up on life. I've decided to show you that life isn't that bad yet. You're too young to want to die already. So are you coming or not?"

"Yes! I mean, thank you. Thank you for sparing my life and offering me a future. I can never thank you enough." Gone was his hesitation. Now he only looked grateful, with tears still falling from his eyes.

"What's your name?" Jay cocked her head as she waited for an answer. 

"I... I don't know. I've never had one. The others only called me 'dog.' That's the only name I have." He hung his head in shame. 

"Well that's a shitty name. What do you think of 'Blake?'" 

Brianna finally chimed in again to add, "Blake is a great name! It fits him!" 

'Blake' smiled at that. Looking pleased with his new name. And nodded eagerly. 

Jay clapped and smiled, "Ok. So let's go see your new home. First, we should get you food though. Hanged Man?" Looking to Bri for her opinion. 

"You know I love a good piss ale!" Bri chuckled, "The Hanged Man it is! Let's go, Blake. Anderson? Will you come?" 

"I- yes. Yes, I'll come as well. Thank you."

Brianna turned to Fenris and Hawke with the same question on her face. 

Hawke nodded, "We were headed that way before we started being strange and following you two. We'll be happy to join you all." 

Fenris merely nodded in response, feeling no need to speak. And so they made their way. 

 

The Hanged Man was as lively as ever. Upon entering, Jay went straight to the barkeep and ordered a large assortment of drinks and food. What struck Fenris as odd was that she didn't pay for it. The barkeep just nodded and smiled at her. Did she had a tab open here? He'd never seen her here before in all the years he'd been coming here. It was strange. 

"Damn Hawke! Keeping me waiting for so long! Did you forget your favorite dwarf?" 

The ever cheerful Varric was eager to greet them. And promptly asking about their extra's. "Who are these beautiful women? And the kid?"

"I'm Brianna. This is Jay. And our newest addition: Blake! And I'm apparently Anderson's mate!" 

Varric sputtered at that, whipping his head to Anders for confirmation. Anders only smiled sheepishly and nodded. 

"Well I'll be damned! Now we have to celebrate! Has anyone ordered drinks?"

"I have. They'll bring plenty over," Jay's grin only grew as she spoke. 

"Okay, let's take our seats then!" Varric was overjoyed at having new company. 

They took their seats at their usual table. The three newcomers sitting at the end. Anders sat beside Brianna, as expected. And Blake sat timidly beside Jay. 

"So you're the Varric I often here about." It wasn't a question from Jay. It was a statement. 

"Well that depends. Where are you hearing about me?" Varric only smiled.

Jay just smiled back at him before responding.  
"You would know me by the name 'Nightingale'"

That earned a stunned reaction from Varric. He froze in place, his ale inches from his lips. He was still for a full minute before placing his pint back on the table. Regarding the woman in front of him carefully. 

"Nightingale, huh? Can't say I thought it'd be a woman. A small one at that. I also don't know of anyone stupid enough to pretend to be Nightingale. So I'm inclined to believe you. But to be sure, the last job you did. What was the exact value of your find?"

Grinning even larger, Jay seemed pleased with where this conversation was going. "You should know that Varric. You were the one who ultimately found most of the buyers. I believe the value of the portion you were involved with was 300 Sovereigns. The total however, was 346 Sovereigns."

Hawke choked on her ale, and Fenris joined her in choking. They'd never known anyone to have that much coin. Especially from a single job. 

"346 Sovereigns?! What the fuck kind of job was it? Because I want in. Maker, Varric. You never even mentioned a job with that kind of coin at stake!"

"I keep those I work with secret. That job was particularly dangerous. Not one I would ever have suggested to our group. Not one I expected a group of 4 to complete either. How exactly were you able to pull it off?"

"We're very good at what we do!" Brianna said in a sing song voice. Clearly loving the praise. 

Varric only shook his head, looking very impressed. At that moment, the food and drinks previously ordered arrived. And the food looked significantly better than it ever had in the past. 

Anders was curious enough to ask, "Why has it never looked this good for us? Or even edible for that matter?"

The barkeep merely smiled vaguely and looked at Jay before turning to leave. 

Varric, never one to leave a stone unturned, "Does Nightingale happen to own the Hanged Man? Because that would explain why I haven't been able to buy her."

"Nightingale owns many things." Jay was mysterious as ever. 

Fenris was fascinated with her. He couldn't figure her out. How she'd fought so quickly earlier. How she completed jobs with such high coin turnouts. But most of all, how she had captured him so fully without even appearing interested in his existence. Hawke knew him well enough to sense him interested in Jay. She also knew him well enough to not push him on any subject. Rather letting Fenris come to her when he needed assistance. 

"So Varric. Is Nightingale a bigger figure in the underworld than even you?" Hawke couldn't help her curiosity. It wasn't often she met anyone with more connections than her favorite dwarf. Actually, she'd never met anyone with more connections. 

"Nightingale makes me look like a prince of daisies. Nightingale is the one you look for when you need a job done that no one else will take. The person you never cross and expect to live. No one in my network even knew if Nightingale was a man or woman. Nightingale was just a shadow."

"You give me too much credit, merchant prince. What good is a shadow with the light to cast it? You happen to be the light. You've sent several very good jobs my way. You have my thanks." 

"You always give me a larger cut than any that has been agreed on. So you have my own as well."

The night carried on as any other. Jay and Brianna shared stories of their adventures and conquests. Of their highest paying jobs. And of the strangest and funniest jobs. 

Brianna was finishing up with one of their stories a few hours later, "As it turned out. This knob had hired us to steal a cow, and all the eggs from a specific chicken. All because his mother had kicked his sorry ass out for selling her possessions! He swore the milk and eggs tasted better than any other and told us he'd contact us again when he needed more eggs! It was priceless!" 

Everyone laughed heartily. They'd all enjoyed the stories Jay and Bri had experienced. 

Hawke yawned and stretched as best she could in her armor, "I suppose it's time to call it a night. Sebastian will be cross with me if I'm not at the Chantry first thing in the morning. He desperately wants us to have breakfast together since he's been so busy lately." 

Jay smiled before asking Hawke, "We have a job starting tomorrow night. It's not particularly dangerous. But it pays well. Our other companions won't be back in time to join us. Would you and some of your companions be interested in filling their places?" 

Before Hawke had the chance to respond, Varric spoke up, "We'd be fools to turn down your offer. Count us in. How many of us do you need?"

Smiling, Jay answered, "4 of you along with Bri and myself."

Hawke had found a new energy now. "Will the four of us here be fine? Fenris is a very capable warrior. Varric is a ranged rogue and I specialize with two blades. You already know what Anders' skill includes." 

"That'll be fine. If it comes to combat, we likely won't need any of you to fight. More or less, having a larger number decreases their chance of challenging us at all. We'll leave from my house tomorrow night. We live on Sundermount. Not far from the Dalish camp there. Are you familiar with the area?"

"The Dalish allow an outsider to live near them?" Hawke couldn't hide the shock in her voice. The Dalish didn't care for anyone that wasn't Dalish. And even then, they were very picky. 

"The Dalish keeper and I have a good understanding of things. We have an agreement." 

Fenris shook his head. What was this woman capable of? To come to an agreement with the very elves that only barely tolerated Hawke, and hated the rest of them. 

Hawke was excited. Very excited. Not only for the coin this job would bring, but for the chance to see such capable adventurers in action. She worried however, that she would expose her own secret. They hadn't seemed phased with Anders being a Mage. But that could have been because their first meeting involved two mates finding each other. Hawke could only hope she wouldn't be exposed, and that if she was, they didn't turn on her. "Tomorrow then. We'll be there at sundown."

"Good." said a smiling Jay. 

 

Sunset came quickly. Likely due to how excited the group was. Varric hadn't stopped talking about seeing the infamous Nightingale in action and up close. Fenris hadn't said much, but Hawke could tell he was just pleased with the oppurtunity to see Jay again. She suspected Fenris already felt something for the strange woman that mirrored Fenris' own body. They hadn't asked about the markings. Not yet. They'd agreed not to ask until Jay was more likely to tell them. If it was anything like Fenris' past, Jay would be reluctant to tell those she didn't trust. 

The four had spoken of it on their way to the meeting point. Anders found it strange that Jay hadn't reacted at all to seeing Fenris' markings. Varric suspected it was because her livelihood had trained her not to react to much of anything. Varric also believed that Bri reacting to it meant that neither Jay or Bri had run into anyone else with the markings before. So it was likely that Jay was also shocked, but had just not expressed it. Whereas Bri clearly didn't have that skill. 

It made sense, Fenris thought to himself. He couldn't help the chilling fear and rage that someone else out there had created someone like him. That it possibly could've been Danarius. Or an associate of his. Someone else with the knowledge and power to use the Lyrium like this. But if it had been Danarius, how had she also escape? If it hadn't been Danarius, who had she escaped from? He had far too many questions and not enough answers. It put him on edge even more than usual. 

"Come on, Broody. You'll scare of your pretty counterpart with that face." 

Varric always annoyed him. "I am not brooding." 

 

Not long after, they'd arrived. Bri and Jay had been chatting and drinking in a tree outside of their house. To call it a house was a joke, however. It was at least 5 times the size of Danarius' abandoned mansion. It was comparable to a mini castle. It was incredible craftsmanship. And it had definitely not been there 6 months ago when Fenris and Hawke had last come here. 

"You built a castle? In less than half a year? How?" Fenris at least wanted answers to what seemed impossible to him. 

"My team and I built it. We work efficiently. There were 7 of us." 

Fenris was shocked. "You built a small castle for 7 people?"

Bri chimed in now, "No. We have a habit of helping those in need. So we needed space for that. This isn't our only house though. But with the 7 of us, we needed space for training and other things we enjoy. It was a lot of fun building this beast!" 

"It was fun, wasn't it?" Jay said wistfully while smiling at her castle. 

The two hopped down from the tree together.  
"Okay, time to go then. Bri, you've got everything you need, correct?" 

"Yep! Let's roll!"

 

The journey to their meeting place had taken all night. By the time they were getting close, the sun had begun to rise. Jay and Bri didn't even seem winded. But the rest of the group was feeling the exhaustion. They stopped for a few hours. Not long enough to sleep, but long enough to eat and rest their legs. 

"How are you two not even phased?" Hawke wondered in between bites of her rations. 

Brianna was only too happy to answer, nestled against Anders. "We've had to travel and fight for days on end before. Without sleep or food. This is nothing for us. Our bodies are used to this type of adventure." 

Although Brianna had said it with a smile, Hawke couldn't help herself, "That is an adventure to you? Maker help us if we ever run into what you two consider trouble." 

"If you ran into trouble with us, it would be best if you just ran away. Our 'trouble' usually leads to a lot of casualties."  
Jay wasn't facing the group when she had spoken. She was looking through her gear in search of something. 

"Bri, did you take my fucking chocolate? Where is it, you dirty hag?"  
Jay had somehow managed to make the insulting questions come out sounding like endearments toward Brianna. 

Varric and Hawke couldn't contain their laughter. And Anders just looked confused on how to react. Bri, however, pretended not to have heard Jay at all. Fenris swore he had seen Brianna eating chocolate earlier in their trip. She'd fallen behind Jay and was shoving it in her mouth as quickly as she could before returning to Jay's side. 

But Fenris wasn't dumb enough to speak up about it. Instead, he wanted to see how this played out. 

"Bitch. I know you heard me. Answer. Now."

"Oh! Jay, did you say something? I couldn't hear anything over this sugar rush taking over my body." Bri's smirk was answer enough. 

Jay, eyes narrowing, merely stood up, walked over to a nearby tree, and bent down to grab something. In a movement too fast to see, Jay was suddenly beside Bri, and opening her hand above Bri's head. And from Jay's hand, a spider the size of an apple fell right onto Bri's blonde head. 

The following shriek made Fenris want to cut off his ears. Bri had immediately started screaming and slapping at her head, to no avail though, as the spider had fallen from her head and was now on her back. Bri had then leapt up and run to the already retreating Jay, begging to be saved. 

Jay, in her own amusement, was fighting off laughter and doing her best not to even smile. 

"Where's my chocolate?"

Through Brianna's tears, "I ate it. But I'll give you mine. Please get it OFF!!!" 

Seemingly satisfied with that alternative, Jay plucked the spider off the screaming woman and took it back to the tree. It had somehow remained unharmed throughout the ordeal. 

"You hate spiders! I can't believe you picked one up just to get back at me!" Bri said accusingly.

All Jay had to say was "Worth it." 

Anders had spent their remaining resting time assuring Brianna that there wasn't another spider on her. And that it hadn't laid eggs anywhere on her. 

 

Several hours after that, they'd finally arrived at their destination. It was a small camp. With roughly 20 men and women set up there. The "job" had been to deliver a package to this destination, and retrieving one to take back. The switch had gone well, until they had intended to leave. At which point, the leader had announced that he'd never planned on letting them leave. They would be collecting the package from Jay's corpse, and after they were all dead, collecting the payment from their employer as well. 

While Hawke and the others had tensed and prepared to fight for their lives, Jay hadn't reacted at all. She'd merely advised they rethink their plan. The leader had laughed then. 

Then there was a blinding light. Fenris felt himself thrown against something solid and the wind had been knocked out of him. He'd fallen and hadn't been able to get back on his feet. He felt as though he was being held down. Once Fenris was able to see again, he could see that his companions were in a similar situation. An invisible force had them pinned down. Hawke was struggling the even lift her head. Varric didn't even look like he was conscious. It looked like Varric had been throw against a boulder and had been knocked out. Fenris couldn't see Anders, but he could see Brianna. She was on her hands and knees. Somehow fighting against this invisible force. 

The only person Fenris couldn't see was Jay. There was a flash of red from the corner of his eye and he struggled to follow it. He saw it flash again, this time in front of him. He willed his eyes to focus; to see what it was. Danger? Likely. 

Fenris' eyes finally came to focus on the flash of red. And what he saw hit him like a sack of bricks. It was Jay. 

It was Jay. But gone was her black hair. In it's place was fire. Gone were her clothes. She was naked except for her small clothes. But her markings, the Lyrium markings, were red. They were moving. Like fire burning across her skin. 

She flashed again. And this time, Fenris realized she was moving to their opponents and killing them. Not with a weapon, but with her bare hands. For one, she tore out the throat of a man. Another, she simply reached towards the woman and turned her to ash. The woman was burned alive in a second. This continued as Jay cut through their opponents. 

When the only one that remained was the leader, he fell to his knees. Pleading for his life with Jay. Begging to be spared. Fenris couldn't see if Jay reacted, but he was sure her face would have been expressionless. 

And then Jay was behind the leader. She reached in front of the leader's face, grabbing inside of his mouth. Fenris saw the leader's eyes go wide for only a moment, before Jay ripped the leader's head from his body. As though she had pulled a stray string from a piece of clothing. A quick, easy tear. 

Jay dropped the head, uninterested in it now, and pushed the leader's body away from her. She walked slowly towards Fenris. And he felt fear. True fear the likes that only Danarius had pulled from him. She would kill him. Fenris was next. Closer, closer. Each step closing the distance between them. Fenris had felt to pressure lighten on his body. He could have run, but the fear had paralyzed him. She was a monster. A demon. And when she was right in front of him, she dropped to her knees. Fenris could see her eyes now. They were red. Matching the blood smeared across her body and face. Fenris was sure this would be his last breath, and at that moment, the monster reached for his face. Before she touched him, however, he forced his eyes shut. He didn't want to see her as she ended his life. 

 

"I'm sorry...." was all Fenris heard before he heard her fall over in front of him.


	2. The Stuff of Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn more about our strange, new characters.

"Abomination.."  
"No..."  
"Demon!"  
"That wasn't a demon..."  
"And you would know, wouldn't you, abomination?"  
"Actually, I would. And that wasn't a demon."  
"That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

"Then what was that?!"

"The stuff of nightmares?"

Too many voices all at once. The loudest, of course, was one very angry elf. 

"She would've kill us!"

Again. The irritated elf. But Fenris was in for a shock when, at that moment, Jay sat up. 

Jay didn't say a word. Simply reached to her right and grabbed her pack. Pulling clothes out, she got dressed silently. Feeling the groups gazes on her the entire time. At least she hadn't burned through even her bra and panties this time, Jay mused with a smile. 

Apparently that smile was enough to set Fenris off into another rant. 

"So you kill 20 people, try to kill me, and then smile about it? You're a demon. And you didn't tell any of us. If nothing else, an explanation is necessary. NOW."

Jay decided it was easier to just I more Fenris. Especially since none of the others seemed too bothered by what had transpired. She already had a head ache. Dealing with the bitchy basket case would only make it worse. And she had a schedule to keep. The package had to be delivered by midnight. And Jay never missed a delivery. 

Realizing he was being ignored, Fenris promptly lost his temper. Flashing as he always did when emotions got the best of him, he grabbed his sword and stalked towards Jay. His intentions were clear. 

"Fenris! Stop now!" 

Hawke had finally spoken, but it was as if Fenris hadn't heard her at all. 

"I don't think Broody is going to listen to words anymore, Hawke...." Varric didn't seem overly concerned with the situation. Knowing full well that Fenris would never get close enough to hurt Nightingale. 

Stopping a few feet before Jay, Fenris snarled, "So you have nothing to say still?"

Breaking her silence, she stared up at him, as intimidating as she could be at only 5 feet tall, and Fenris finally got a reply from Jay, 

"Actually, yes. Can you shut the fuck up?"

Fenris' jaw dropped, but Jay continued.

"Your voice is like sandpaper dragging across my eardrums. An explanation? That's what you want? I saved your stupid lives. There's your explanation. Seeing as I was the only one even able to move, I'd expect you to be thankful to be alive. But nooooo, you're more concerned with how I flashed into a pretty color and how cool my hair is. You live in a world with dragons and dark spawn, and you're worried about my party tricks? Jesus fucking Christ, I hate this world." 

Turning from Fenris, Jay spoke to Brianna now, "How long have I been asleep?"

"3 hours," Brianna said with her usual smile. Seeming amused by the current situation. 

"Awesome. Now I have 2 hours to get back to Kirkwall. Do you think you can handle walking to children home safely on your own? I'll go on ahead and finish this job."

"Of course! I'll even tuck the cute blondie in!" Brianna said with a wink and grin thrown to Anders, who even blushed in response.

Tossing her pack over her shoulder, Jay only nodded before turning and running off.

Fenris was still frozen with his mouth hanging open in shock. And Hawke and Varric were both trying to contain their laughter. Not many people were brave enough to bite back at Fenris. Especially when he was so angry already. 

Anders had a thought come to him suddenly, "Wait. How exactly will she make it to Kirkwall in two hours? It took us nearly a full day and nights journey to get here." 

"That is a good question. How will she even manage that?" Hawke was chiming in now. 

"Oh, that's easy. It only took us so long to get here because we had you four with us. If it had just been Jay and I, we could've made the trip in roughly four hours. And that's only because I don't travel as quickly as she does alone. On her own, she'll make it to Kirkwall just under the deadline. By the time we get back, she'll have already dropped the payments off at the Hanged Man for the four of you." 

"Well, I've heard stranger things about the infamous Nightingale. So I'll have to believe what you're saying," Varric said with a slight chuckle. 

Hawke spoke while gathering her possessions, "So is she like Anders? It was similar to what happens when Justice takes over." 

After a pause, "Oh shit. Did you know about Justice? You guys are mated, but you just met. Shit. Anders, I'm so sorry."

Anders raised his hands to signal Hawke to stop worrying. 

"Brianna already knew. Both she and Jay could sense my connection to the fade as being more than that of a normal Mage. They figured it out without me saying a word."

Brianna smiled at Anders again. The adoration was clear on her face. Brianna loved this man that she had only just met. She'd waited so long to finally meet him.

"Well, Hawke, back to your question. Jay is, but isn't like Anders. Are you all aware of how he came to be?" Brianna looked in Fenris' direction. 

By now, Fenris had regained his composure, but it was clear how enraged he still was. Now, though, he was also curious to find out the truth behind this Jay.

"We know the basics of how it was done to Fenris, yes," Hawke replied carefully. She was well aware of how touchy this subject was for Fenris. 

Brianna continued, "Okay. So it was basically along those lines. But about a hundreds times worse. It's hard to explain. We aren't from here, exactly. But those markings were forced on her. The rest of us weren't able to handle the... experiment. We got the mini version of it instead. They stopped whenever it looked like it would kill us. They only had a few of us to use after all. I'm sure you'll meet everyone else at some point. They're are nine of us total. We all scatter for jobs or to just look around." 

Brianna reached for her water before continuing, "Anyways. What happened to Jay was the worst treatment I've ever witnessed. How she came out of it with her sanity, I'll never know. So, where Fenris' Lyrium markings stop on the outside, Jay's don't. They put Lyrium markings inside of her too." 

Fenris' head snapped towards Brianna, having been looking at the ground while listening before. "Inside..?"

Brianna nodded. "Meaning her organs. They opened her up, and added markings to all of her. Your markings increased your strength and healing right? Well, hers did too. But significantly more than yours. Her eyes were marked too. That's why her eye color is so strange. Same thing with her hair. The Lyrium was run into her scalp, which then went into each strand of hair. Fun fact: her hair can't be cut because of it. It also doesn't grow beyond what it is now. That's why her eyes and hair changed as well as her markings during the fight. So there you have it. She's just an extra powerful Fenris." 

None of them had any response. Hawke looked as though she'd be sick any moment. Anders was pale and visibly shaken. Varric was just shaking his head with his eyes closed. 

Fenris felt like he'd vomit. He felt cold and sweaty. He'd assumed she'd been created the same way he had, but what was worse was knowing that Danarius wouldn't have had the power to do all that had been done to Jay. So who had? 

Fenris was barely able to choke out the words as he noticed Brianna had gathered her belongings and was already ready to begin their journey back to Kirkwall.  
"Why was she made?"

Brianna frowned at that. "Isn't it obvious? For the same reason you were. Power. She was made to be the perfect solider.... ah, I mean the perfect warrior." 

"Who? Who made her?" Fenris felt his rage slipping past his shock now. 

"Don't worry. She was the only success, if you'd call it a 'success' at all. They were never able to make another of her. The rest of us were considered 'failures'. We were left alive only because we proved to be a useful team for Jay. And also because Jay refused to cooperate with them if they killed us. So we owe her our lives." 

Brianna turned and walked away after that. She was struggling to keep her composure. Remembering all too clearly what had been done to herself. And remembering even clearer what had been done to Jay every day. Besides Jay, Brianna hadn't even gotten the second worst of it. That had been Lust. Brianna shook her head as she reminded herself they had their real names back now. He wasn't 'Lust' anymore. He was 'Levi.' Some days she had to remind herself their hell was over. That they'd escaped against all odds. Even if that escape had been falling into this strange world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who've left Kudos and bookmarked this work! Hopefully chapter 2 meets your expectations as well! Brianna will be getting some alone time with Anders in chapter 3


	3. I'll Carry Her

Jay had made her delivery on time. Though even she had been rushing towards the end. She'd made her way towards the Hanged Man to drop off the payment for Varric to receive and distribute. Leaving it with Corff, Jay had decided to rush home in order to relax and escape the presence of other people for a while. 

Of course, that had been before someone had purred from behind her. 

"Now what do we have here? I know a man with the same markings, but even he isn't nearly as edible as you."

Jay had turned and come face to chest with an olive toned woman with tits the size of Jay's head. The woman wasn't wearing any pants, but oozed sex appeal. 

"Now aren't you just the perfect height for some fun?" It came out as yet another purr. 

How one woman could purr so hard was a wonder to Jay. But her curiosity had been peaked. 

"I get that a lot. You could just call me 'fun sized.' And who are you?" 

"Isabella. Captain Isabella. Or at least I will be once I get another ship. Let me buy you a drink and we can sit and chat for a while." 

"I'll buy the drinks then. Keep saving for your ship. Call me Jay." 

The two grinned at each other. Both knowing it would be quite an interesting night now. 

 

The group arrived back to Kirkwall much faster than they'd anticipated. They discovered that Jay had arranged for horses to be left for them on her own way back. The boy who'd waited for the horses had offered her one as well, but Jay had told him it'd be faster for her to run. 

Brianna followed them to the Hanged Man, but hadn't had much to say during the journey. Her mind had been far, far away. She'd only responded occasionally and mostly when Anders had spoken to her. 

Upon the groups arrival at the Hanged Man, the sun was just beginning to set, and the bar was busier than any of them had ever seen. Upbeat music was playing and people were singing loudly and dancing as well. 

Brianna had finally smiled again while Varric had mumbled "What the hell is going on?" 

They soon found out once they were able to get inside past the crowd of drunken bodies. 

First they saw Isabella, more naked than usual. Clad only in a tiny top to cover her breasts and something so small it barely covered her lower bits. And it only covered the crack of her ass. Isabella was dancing on a table, putting on a show for some very pleased men and women, who were cheering her on. 

Next they saw a very drunk Jay. Dressed exactly the same as Isabella, it was clear who Isabella had gotten the lack of clothing from. Jay was dancing with Isabella. The two would have been having sex with one another, if not for the clothing separating them. 

Their dancing was in time with the music though, and they were clearly having a fantastic time. 

"Damn, Bella...." Hawke muttered with a grin. Hawke went to Corff, Varric following behind. 

Coming back only a moment later, Hawke informed the rest of the group of what exactly was going on.

"Apparently Bella and Jay threw a late party last night, but decided to throw another one tonight so more of Kirkwall could enjoy the festivities. Corff said the bar has never made so much profit as these past two nights. He said they would've run out of ale and rum if not for Jay rush ordering some after last night. The Elven, Dwarves and humans have all been partying together. I guess enough alcohol will loosen all of them up."

During Hawke's explanation, some signal had been given and now women of all races were jumping on the other tables and dancing as well. Every male in the bar was cheering. Isabella let out a loud whistle, and Corff promptly threw a bottle of rum to her. 

Brianna cheered and clapped as Isabella opened the bottle and poured it over Jay's tongue and down Jay's chest. Which Isabella then licked the rum from. 

"Look at all these beautiful dwarven women! Bianca might just get jealous!" Varric had fully embraced this strange party. 

"Well, let's enjoy the festivities to their fullest!" Hawke clapped for the dancing girls while she ordered them a round of drinks. Hawke had never been one to turn down a good time. 

Varric spotted Merrill behind Jay and Isabella and called for her, "Daisy! Come over and join us!"

Merrill skipped over to them, smiling ear to ear. "Isn't this wonderful? It's so much fun! All the people and the dancing! It's so exciting!" 

They all managed to clear a table to sit at, and Merrill sat on Hawke's lap. Due to the lack of chairs, Brianna sat on Anders lap as well. Fenris sat beside Varric, preferring to be as far from the blood Mage and abomination as possible. Fenris hadn't said a word since their arrival. He wasn't sure what to even say. 

The song ended, and though another began, Isabella and Jay hopped down from the table and made their way to the group. Along the way, Isabella handed a man the bottle of rum and winked at him and he gave up his chair to her. Isabella brought the chair over and Jay sat on her lap as they joined the group. 

"It's about time you all got back. Fun size, kitten and I have been having all this fun without the rest of you!" Isabella said in between laughing. 

Jay laughed with her, and then introduced Brianna. 

"This is Brianna. A member of my family."

"Oh! This is the delicious glass of milk you mentioned!" Isabella said it with a wink to Brianna, causing Brianna to laugh. 

"Hands to yourself, wench. Brianna is my mate. You'll not have her." 

"Kill joy" Isabella said with a dramatic eye roll. Isabella brought her hand to Jay's hair and began running her fingers through it absentmindedly. 

Fenris watched with carefully as Isabella played with Jay's hair. His fingers itched to replace hers. Fenris hated the feelings coursing through him. Fascination and desire mingling with disgust and distrust. Who was Jay? Or better yet, what was she? He'd managed to coax that Jay wasn't a Mage from Brianna during their journey. But that was all she would tell him. 

He had too many questions and not enough answers. This wasn't something he could just let go or forget. She carried the same Lyrium markings he did, but she could wield fire in a way no Mage could. She was the perfect toy for Danarius. And if Danarius ever learned of her existence, and managed to capture her, he would wreak havoc upon the rest of the world. 

Fenris' attention came back suddenly when Hawke's loud laughter reached his ears. Varric was also laughing. Though Fenris hadn't caught what was so funny. The blood Mage was covering her mouth and giggling while staring at him. Fenris suddenly felt as though he were the source of their laughter. Blood rushed to his cheeks, heating his face as his anger flared to life. 

"What exactly is so entertaining?" Fenris snarled to the group. 

Isabella answered him, "Sweet, if you stare at my little Jay here any harder or with any more desire, we may have to clear the entire tavern for the two of you!" 

The group laughed harder, and even through his anger, Fenris couldn't keep himself from looking at Jay to see her reaction. 

Jay was smiling absently at the wall. Her fingers tapping to some unknown beat. If she heard the groups teasing, she showed no reaction to it. 

Fenris was relieved and annoyed to realize how unaffected Jay was. Was he the only one that felt some invisible tension between them? That thought only annoyed him more, and he threw back the rest of his ale. Hoping the sour alcohol might distract him at least a little bit. 

Jay stood suddenly, catching Fenris' attention yet again. She yawned in the most delicate fashion and stretched her arms above her head. Even seated, Fenris still noticed her small statue. Wearing almost nothing, he couldn't stop himself from admiring her. She wasn't thin the way so many women were. Her chest was full, though not as large as the pirate whore's. Her waist was small, but her hips flared deliciously. That fullness carried down to her legs. Thighs pressed beautifully together even standing with her legs parted slightly. Her stomach rounded slightly, enough that it wasn't flat, but not in an unattractive manner. She didn't appear to have abs, but Fenris was sure her entire body was toned and solid. 

To put it simply, she was everything Fenris had ever desired that he'd never known he'd wanted. She was ravishing. 

"I'm tired. I'm going to head home now. Are you coming, Bri?" 

"In a bit. Anders and I will be along shortly."

Anders blushed at the clear assumption that he would be spending the night with Brianna. 

"I'll head home too. My neck is killing me!" Hawke downed her ale and stood. "Though I hate going home lately." 

"We have plenty of room if you want an escape from your own home anytime!" Brianna offered sweetly. 

"Yeah? I may take you up on that." Hawke brought her hand to her chin as she considered the offer.

"We also have the most luxurious bathing facility this world has ever seen!" Brianna added with a thumbs up and a smile. 

"Shit. I may accept that offer now then. You don't mind?" Hawke asked while looking to Jay. 

"That's fine." Jay responded with a shrug. 

"I'll escort you both at least to the city limits then." 

Fenris hadn't meant to speak. Nor had he meant to offer to escort two very capable women. He immediately regretted his decision and waited for humiliation.

But it never came. Not even Isabella said anything, though she stared at him with a knowing look as the three left the tavern. 

After a certain distance from the Hanged Man, the streets were quiet. Only the occasional beggar decorating the sides of the roads. They traveled in silence until they were close to the city gates. He and Hawke were silent mostly due to listening for anyone planning to ambush the trio. Fenris suspected the thought never even occurred to Jay. She looked like she was sleep walking already. Her steps had begun dragging more and more as they neared the gates. 

Fenris was watching her closely since he was at the rear. She and Hawke were walking side by side ahead of him. Jay's steps stopped altogether suddenly. And her body began falling forward. 

Fenris noticed before Hawke and he dove forward to stop Jay's collision with the ground. He caught her just before her face would've hit. 

"Is she okay?!" Hawke asked nervously, fearing whatever had caused this to happen. 

Fenris flipped her over to face him, relieved to see her breathing was even. She appeared to just be sleeping. 

"How...?" Fenris trailed off, not knowing exactly what the ask. 

"She's asleep? She said she was tired, but I didn't think she'd just pass out." Hawke shook her head incredulously. 

"What would she have done if she'd been alone?" Fenris didn't look away from Jay's face as he asked this.

"Like I would know." Hawke sighed. "We should get her home then. Sorry, but one of us is going to have to carry her while to other is on the defensive."

Fenris nodded, "I'll carry her. We'll move quicker if I do." 

Fenris lifted her easily. Noticing all too well how good she felt in his hands. 

They moved quickly towards Sundermount. Bandits loved waiting out of sight on the mountain's empty roads. Even with he and Hawke, being attacked would be trouble right now. 

Hawke frequently glanced over her shoulder to check on them. She and Fenris were good at keeping a check on their surroundings. But with nothing but the moon to light their way, she was on edge. She wishes Anders and Brianna had left with them. That would've lessened her worry and anxiety. Hawke hoped the two weren't far behind now. She knew that if Brianna was even close to Jay's fighting level, the pair had nothing to worry about on the trip home. But Jay was unconscious and showing no signs of waking. 

Hawke quickened her steps. It wouldn't be too much further now before the mansion would come into view. Hawke didn't allow herself to feel relief yet. She knew all too well how quickly things could go wrong. 

Fenris had quickened his pace as well to keep close to Hawke. All he could smell was Jay. He suspected it was whatever she used in her hair. She smelled like flowers and rain. Her head lolled against his bicep and his breath caught in his throat. He wanted this beautiful and terrifying monster. He was angry with his desire. He wanted to drop this woman and never see her again. But the thought of never seeing her made his stomach twist in knots. 

Fenris had been so distracted in his thoughts that he hadn't realized Hawke had stopped walking and was staring at him. He stopped quickly when he heard her voice.

"Do you like her, Fen?" 

Fenris stopped himself from snapping at Hawke. He reminded himself that he could trust Hawke. And that Hawke had proven to be the closest person he could call a friend. He knew instinctively that whatever his answer was, Hawke would never tell anyone. 

"I don't know. And that troubles me..." Fenris paused for a moment before continuing. "I don't know what is it about her that captivates me. I don't know what she is. And even though I fear her, she said something to me before. Before she collapsed after the fight. She apologized. Why do you think she did that?"

Hawke pondered that before responding.  
"Did you look scared? Maybe she was apologizing for frightening you. You'd have to ask her to be certain. I don't think she's someone we have to be wary of though. I just have this gut feeling that she's okay. Honestly, if they sensed the truth about Anders, they probably know about me too. So far, they haven't given us a reason to distrust them. And Varric seems very sure that she's a good person. For now, I'm going to trust all of that. Maybe you should try to do the same."

Fenris didn't say anything, but considered deeply what Hawke had said. It was true. They shown no hostility towards any of them. Even when Fenris has snapped at Jay, she'd only spoken harshly. She hadn't even raised a hand to defend herself. 

Fenris decided he'd ask Varric to tell him everything he knew from his underground workings. 

Fenris sighed before speaking, "We should move on." 

Hawke nodded before turning to walk again. 

 

The mansion was soon in their sights. There were no guards outside, which left Hawke feeling uneasy. No sooner than she'd put her hands on her swords, several men leapt from the shadows to surround she and Fenris. Fenris snarled and shifted Jay in his arms, ready for whatever may come. 

"You have our lady." One of the men spoke with an accent similar to Isabella.

Hawke noted it and turned to the one who'd spoken. 

"We were escorting her. We're friends and were invited." Hawke had replied evenly. But she was ready to attack at any second. 

"By whom?" Was all she got in response. 

"Brianna and Jay. Both of them." 

Fenris hadn't said a word yet. He wasn't sure what to make of their situation at present. 

"I see. We welcome you then. Let us go inside." 

Hawke stared open mouthed at the men surrounding them turned to walk towards the mansion. The tension was gone as quickly as it had appeared. The apparent guards showing no signs of attacking. 

"Trusting, aren't they?" Fenris grumbled low enough that only Hawke could hear. 

Hawke said nothing, but motion for Fenris to follow as she walked into through the front door. 

 

Brianna and Anders had left about half an hour after Jay. Brianna had sense how tired Jay was and had been relieved that Hawke had agreed easily to going home with Jay. She hadn't wanted to bring unnecessary attention to Jay's exhaustion and what it could lead to. She would've left with them, but had wanted to speak more with Isabella and Merrill. 

She and Anders rounded the hill and home was in sight. 

Brianna had been anticipating this night since she'd first seen her mate. She'd wanted to jump him then and there, but had barely restrained herself. She wanted this to be perfect. 

The house was quiet when Brianna opened the door. Candles lighting the house just enough to maneuver easily. 

One of the maids greeted her with a nod and smile upon seeing Brianna. Silently informing her that Jay had arrived safely. 

Brianna sighed in relief and held out her hand to Anders. 

Anders smiled and took her hand. Following her as she led him through the house. He was amazed at how beautiful if was. It was decorated simply in a style he wasn't familiar with, but it felt comfortable. It felt like home. They continued into the dining hall, where a shocking sight awaited them. 

Fenris was there. Laid on in front of the fire place, asleep. Hawke was there too. Though it looked at though she hadn't had the chance to enjoy a bath before she, too, fell asleep. Though Hawke had managed to make it to a chair before meeting her exhaustion. 

Brianna held back a laugh and pulled Anders towards her bedroom. She didn't want to stall any longer. She needed her mate. She'd waited so long for him. She wouldn't wait any longer. 

Her own fire was lit, keeping the room warm and adding a sensual lighting. 

Brianna pulled Anders to the center of her room and smiled gently at him. She kissed him, reaching back to loosen his hair. She ran her fingers through it, loving the feel. 

She could taste the ale on his lips and smiled. Anders lips were warm and soft. Matching her desire. 

Anders pulled Brianna against him. He moaned into her as she opened her mouth to him. She was intoxicating. No woman had ever stoked his desire like this. And with only a kiss. 

Brianna pulled away from him suddenly. Anders felt that loss in his very soul. Brianna only smiled at him though, before reaching to the bottom of her shirt and pulling it over her head. 

Anders choked as he tried to breath. The fire casting shadows across Brianna's beautiful milky skin. Her breasts were bared to him. Her nipples were a pale pink that he could just barely make out in the limited lighting. Her nipples were already hard. Calling out to him. Begging for kiss. 

Anders couldn't breath when Brianna pushed her leggings down over her hips, down her calves and then stood to step out of them. She was naked before him now. Anders' gaze started at her feet. He had no idea when she'd taken her boots off. They were gone now though. His gaze traveled up her calves, to her toned thighs, before reaching their meeting point to a mound of golden curls. 

She was a golden goddess before him. She stepped back slowly, a bewitching smile on her face. She stepped back until she reached her bed, and slowly climbed backwards onto it, spreading her legs to display herself for Anders. 

Anders wasn't sure what happened next. He just knew that one moment he was staring between Brianna's legs, and the next, he was naked and climbing on top of Brianna. 

She gasped when he tilted his hips forward to press his cock against her. 

"I don't want to rush, but I need you..." Anders croaked out. Pleasure rushing through him as he felt her wetness against him. 

"Need you. Now." Brianna pressed her nails into Anders back and lifted up to kiss him. 

He couldn't take it anymore and growled into her kiss. Slamming himself inside her without further delay.  
Brianna made a hissed with pleasure, tilting her hips up to better accommodate Anders. Taking it as a sign to continue, Anders pulled himself out to the tip, before slamming back into Brianna. 

They found their rhythm, meeting each other for every stroke. Anders groaned, and Brianna trembled against him. He felt her orgasm begin as she sighed his name. 

He slowed his pace long enough to let her ride her orgasm out. And then drove her back to that peak again. He felt himself nearing his end and choked out the question, "where do I cum?" 

Brianna didn't answer immediately, lost in her pleasure. She answered with a moan, "I'm not able to get pregnant. It doesn't matter." Her eyes fluttered closed, as her orgasm built again. 

The statement surprised Anders, though deciding to pursue that conversation later. He leaned down to kiss her, quickening his pace again. 

Brianna was purring against his lips, her fingers moving to his hips now, and pulling him against her harder and harder. 

Anders answered her silent command, ramming into her and throwing his head back as he came. Brianna came as she felt his release. Arching her back and calling his name. 

Hours seemed to pass as they slowly regained their senses. Anders pulled himself from her and quickly grabbed his tunic to prevent his seed from spilling onto her sheets. He laid beside her, watching her chest rise and fall as her breathing calmed slowly. 

Sleep was calling for him, when Brianna turned her head towards him and smiled. She reached for the blanket and pulled it over them both, as she curled into his chest. 

Neither said a word as a blissful sleep carried them away. Though Anders was sure he heard her say something in a hushed tone. He was sure she'd said "i love you." But before he could respond, sleep claimed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a while. I was bed ridden with something akin to the flu and only recently managed to get my life going again. I hope it was worth the wait!


	4. It Was Like I Needed Him

Fenris awoke with a start. He wasn't sure what had startled him until he locked eyes with a very angry, red headed man. 

"Who the fuck are you?" The red headed man hissed.

Fenris scrambled to get to his feet, frantically searching for his sword. 

"Friends!" Hawke cut in. "Friends of Jay and Brianna!" 

The red headed man turned to Hawke before speaking again. "Who the hell is 'Jay?'"

Fenris' hand had finally found his great sword. He got into a fighting stance and prepared for things to go badly at any second. 

"Travis!!"

Brianna came rushing into the room. Having been alerted to the growing commotion. 

Brianna was utterly disheveled. Her hair was sticking at odd angles and her cheeks were flushed. She had a robe clutched around her. She hadn't even bothered tying it in her haste to prevent conflict.  
"Travis! They're guests. Friends. Allies. Why must you always start a fight?"

Travis only looked more angry. "Who the hell is 'Jay?'"

Brianna got a strange look on her face before laughing awkwardly. She looked apologetically towards Fenris and Hawke having been caught in the lie. 

"We assumed 'Jay' was a fake name anyways. It's not a big deal."  
Hawke grumbled after yawning. She rolled her head to loosen up her stiff neck. Sleeping in a chair hadn't been a wise choice. On the floor with Fenris would've been the better option. 

"Uhh, 'Jay' was the name she was using with our new friends." Brianna explained to Travis. "Where is Aurora?" 

"Here!" 

The cheery voice rang out from the shadows. Fenris watched wearily as a smaller red headed woman emerged with a bow and arrow aimed at his head. She was smiling sweetly. 

Brianna sighed dramatically. "Okay! Down, killer. I said they're friends. Treat them as such." 

The one called Aurora lowed her bow at that. Fenris sighed with relief, and lowered his sword. He didn't take his hands from it though. Fenris didn't like the way the one called Travis was glaring at him. 

Travis turned his gaze from the slender man with eerily familiar markings. He turned to Brianna. Wanting to watch her answer to his next questions.  
"Where is she? And who is he?" 

"Jay. Jay is asleep. She's resting. He is named Fenris. And this is Hawke." Brianna gestured toward the pair. 

Fenris and Hawke both exchanged a look. They'd both caught her emphasis when Brianna had explained Jay. 

Travis understood her meaning and nodded. He said nothing else before turning and leaving the room. 

"Well! Welcome to the family!" Aurora clapped and called out. Still as cheery as before. 

Brianna sighed again before motioning for everyone to follow her. She led the three to their dining table and sat down. Aurora plopped herself into a chair beside Brianna. 

Fenris and Hawke opted to sit across from the two. Taking chairs beside one another. 

Once they had sat down, Brianna spoke, "I'm sorry you guys were woken up like that. Travis is a hothead." 

Aurora nodded beside her. Brianna continued, 

"This is his cousin, Aurora. That part may have been obvious from their similar appearances though. Since the cat is out of the bag, I'm also sorry we lied to you about Jay's name. It's a very complicated explanation, and not my story to tell at this time. I hope you'll both understand and still call her by the name she gave you." 

Hawke nodded slowly and began speaking, "Where did Travis go exactly?" 

Before Brianna could speak, Aurora cut in,  
"He went to shower and then sleep with... Jay." 

Fenris' head whipped towards the smaller female. He felt immediate anger and jealously. So the big red head and Jay were together. Fenris grit his teeth together and flared his nostrils. He had the urge to cut the one called Travis into small pieces. 

Fenris' angry reaction had caught the attention of the three women seated with him. Hawke and Brianna stared at him in shock while Aurora appeared absolutely giddy over his reaction. 

"Not like that!! Travis sees Jay as a sister. They aren't together. We all sleep in Jay's bed. We switch off and take turns. It might seem weird, but we're all comforted when we're near her." Brianna spoke quickly, desperately trying to clear the air. She glared at Aurora. Aurora had chosen her words carefully; testing the waters with Fenris. Aurora only smiled back at her. 

The explanation cooled Fenris' temper. He still didn't like the idea of another man sharing the bed with his..... 

Fenris stopped that thought. She didn't belong to him. She wasn't anything to him. He didn't have the right to get angry or jealous. 

Even as he told himself these things, that same possessive anger came over him again. Something must be wrong with him. He hadn't wanted anyone. Not as far back as he could remember. He'd actively avoided any type of relationship. He'd actively avoided people as often as he could. Why did a woman that filled him with fear also fill him with a possessive, burning desire? 

Fenris needed to speak privately with Hawke as soon as possible. 

 

"So you like Jay, huh?" Aurora asked in a smug tone. 

Heat rushed to Fenris' face. He felt like a fool. He liked her. But he'd done nothing but act like an ass when it came to her. He may not understand her. Or whatever she is. But he did know he had been unreasonable. Hawke had lectured him after they'd arrived last night. But sleep had claimed them both before he'd gotten to ask everything he needed to. 

Fenris didn't answer the question. He could feel the heat spreading to the tips of his ears and simply looked down at the table. 

"Miss Brianna. Should I prepare breakfast now? Will the kind gentleman be joining us as well? Will Mister Travis be coming back?"

Fenris raised his head to find the source of the newcomer. It was an Elven servant. 

"Don't worry about it, Mira. I'll cook breakfast for all of us. If you're hungry, go ahead and eat. Don't worry about us." 

Mira looked embarrassed suddenly. "I am sorry, Miss Brianna. I am still unused to not being a servant. Being free to do what I want is hard."

Brianna smiled softly, "Don't worry about it, Mira. We aren't used to having people who want to serve us. We'll learn it all together. Today you're learning to read more, right? Just relax until your lessons begin." 

Mira brightened instantly. "Thank you. Truly. I've never met such kind people before your family bought my freedom. I will find some way to repay you." Mira smiled at the group and then left. 

 

It was silent for several moments before anyone spoke after Mira's departure. 

Hawke broke the silence, "So... You buy the freedom of slaves?"

"Kind of...." Brianna answered vaguely. 

Hawke wasn't going to let that slide. "But why? How does that benefit you?"

"It doesn't. To be honest, I can't say I care enough to free every slave I come across. Jay, however, is very much against slavery. I guess she's seen enough of it after all this time." 

"How can anyone have enough money to free every slave they come across?" Fenris couldn't stop himself from asking. 

Brianna cocked her head to the side and looked slightly confused, "We have more gold than we could ever spend. Taking the jobs no one else will has its perks." 

"We're rich!" Aurora exclaimed. "I'm gonna go make coffee and eggs. I'll make some for the rest of you too." 

With that, she skipped off in the direction of the kitchen. 

"I found my mate! He'll be awake soon too. So make it 5 for breakfast!" 

Aurora's face came back around the corner of the wall with wide eyes. "I expect all of the details!" 

"There's never a moment of peace when several of us are together." Brianna sighed, rubbing her hands over her face. "Ok. As far as I know, Jay had a job she wanted to give you, Hawke. But with her sleeping, you'll have to wait until she wakes up to find out what it is." 

"When will she be waking up?" Fenris grumbled out. 

"A day? Two? Maybe three? We never really know how long it'll take." 

Fenris and Hawke both perked up at that. 

"Is she sick? Why would she sleep that long?" Fenris demanded. 

"Uh.. For.... Reasons. I honestly don't know if I can trust you with this type of information. Jay is very special. She's lived a life that most could never imagine. Anything I tell you could be used to hurt her. And she's been hurt enough.

Now if you'll excuse me for just a moment, I'm going to go check on Jay. If either of you want to bathe, follow me." 

With that, Brianna turned and walked away. Leaving Hawke and Fenris to ponder what it felt like to be trusted, but not trusted enough. 

Hawke sighed softly, "We really should get cleaned up. Let's go." 

Fenris nodded and followed Hawke. 

At the end of a hallway, they came to a large, white door. Brianna turned and brought a single finger to her lips; signaling for them to be silent. 

Brianna opened the door and they entered a dimly lit room. In the center of the room was a large bed made of what appeared to be carved stone. Hawke and Fenris stared at it in wonder as their eyes adjusted to the lower lighting. They stepped closer to the bed and Fenris could make out two lumps. One significantly larger than the other. 

Several steps closer and Fenris could now make out that the two lumps were Travis and Jay. Travis had thrown himself onto the bed. Not bothering to put on a shirt; he was left in only some loose trousers. He was face down, and snoring softly. Travis looked less unpleasant while asleep. 

Jay was on top of the covers as well. Her Lyrium was glowing softly, illuminating her in the darkness. She was wearing only a loose blouse. Fenris followed her bare legs up to the curve of her rear. She had only lacey, black smalls on. One of her legs was thrown over a pillow, with her arms hugging it close. Her hair was strewn about in every direction. She took Fenris' breath away. Blood rushed to his ears and his groin. Desire running thick within it. 

Hawke cleared her throat to get Fenris' attention. Fenris whipped his gaze toward Hawke and blushed deeply before continuing to follow her into an adjoining room. 

Brianna closed the door behind them, leaving them in darkness. Brianna snapped and light began to pour in from the ceiling. 

Fenris and Hawke watched as a curtain was pulled along the ceiling, letting in more and more light as it went. The room was now fully lit with sunlight. 

Hawke whistled softly as she examined the bathroom. There were several different areas with tubs and several toilets as well. 

Brianna walked over to two tubs and turned knobs in front of each. Hot water poured into each immediately. Steam rising from the tubs. 

"How the hell does that work?" Hawke asked in amazement. 

Brianna chuckled, "Let's just say that Jay doesn't sacrifice her plumbing luxuries no matter what world it is." 

Neither Hawke or Fenris understood what she meant. As the water poured into each tub, Brianna pulled a curtain between the two. 

"There you go. Simply turn the water off when you're ready and enjoy. I'll collect your clothes and have them washed. I'll also leave clothes for each of you. I'll be back in 5 minutes, so go ahead and get to it." 

Brianna walked out and left the pair to their growing confusion. 

Fenris turned to Hawke, who merely shrugged. "Well, let's do what the lady says and enjoy. The curtain doesn't appear to be see through. So we should be good."

Hawke began taking off her armor and setting it beside her tub. Fenris took that as his cue ad got on the other side of the curtain and followed suit. He noticed that beside the knob was a shelf with a variety of soaps in it. 

Looking around, Fenris couldn't help but note how expensive this entire room was. Everything in it, down to the tubs themselves, appeared to be top quality. They were the finest he'd ever seen, even from his time with Danarius. 

Fenris heard Hawke shut her water off and he did the same. Hawke sighed as she stepped into the hot water. 

"Maker help me. I don't think I've ever loved a bath so much." Hawke purred contentedly. 

Fenris grunted in agreement and finished undressing quickly and stepped in his tub. Being tall, most tubs weren't long enough to accommodate his height, but this one was perfect. He slid in down to his shoulders and his feet still hadn't hit the end of the tub. 

Fenris and Hawke both allowed themselves to relax and enjoy this luxury. 

Fenris reached back and grabbed one of the soaps, sniffing it carefully. The scent was earthy, but clean smelling. It was masculine and without being overbearing. Briefly pondering whether he should ask where they bought it so he could have some for himself, he began scrubbing his body. 

Fenris could hear Hawke scrubbing herself as well when the door opened and Brianna walked back in. Fenris brought his hands up to cover himself before he saw that Brianna's eyes were shut already. She walked first to Hawke's side and dropped a stack of clothing, before walking to Fenris' side and doing the same. Then she turned so that her back faced them and vent to gather his and Hawke's armor and clothing. Brianna didn't say a word as she left. 

Some time passed as the pair sat in silence. They both wanted to enjoy this luxury as long as they could. 

"Hawke.." Fenris began.  
"How did you know? That Sebastian was the one? Was it only because of his name? Or was there more to it?" Fenris' questions were hesitant. He spoke in barely more than a whisper. 

Hawke didn't answer immediately. Causing Fenris to worry if she'd even heard him. Just as he was about to call her name, Hawke spoke softly. 

"Yearning. It was like I needed him. I ached for him. His name was only a confirmation to what I already felt. Is it because of Jay? Do you think she is....?" 

"I do not know. You know I can't read. I don't know what the name I bear says. And I can't remember my name from before. But I feel the need you described." 

"Fen.... I can read the name for you. Where is it?" 

"My arm."

"I'm done bathing. Let's get dressed and I'll tell you what it says."

Fenris said nothing, but pulled the plug in the tub. Looking to the pile of clothes, he noticed a towel underneath the clothing. It was softer and fluffier than those he was accustomed to using. 

After drying himself off, Fenris reached for the clothing. They were soft, and yet rough. It wasn't a fabric he knew of. He worried it would chafe his markings, but pulled them on anyways. He was surprised when the fabric felt comfortable even rubbing against his markings. He reminded himself to ask of it, so he could get the coin to buy some for himself. 

"Damn, these are amazing!" Hawke spoke cheerfully and came around the curtain as Fenris pulled his blouse on. 

"Any idea what these are made of?" Hawke asked Fenris. 

Fenris only shook his head. "They don't irritate the Lyrium. I didn't know there was clothing like this." 

Hawke brought her hand to her chin in thought. "I suppose Jay's markings are the same. So she must've found this fabric to stop the irritation as well. We'll ask what it is and find some more for you." 

Fenris nodded and looked down at his blouse again. Amazed at how soothing it felt on those cursed markings. 

Hawke stepped towards him and held out her hand. 

Fenris stared at her in confusion until she said, "Your arm, Fenris." 

Fenris lifted his arm towards her, and pulled up the sleeve of his shirt. 

Hawke was careful not to actually touch Fenris' markings as she tilted her head to read the name laying beautifully between two Lyrium lines. 

Hawke's brow wrinkled. 

"It's not a name I've ever heard of. Or ever read before." 

Hawke tilted her head the other way as she continued, "It starts with a 'J.' I'm not sure how it's pronounced though. Jos-Jos-al-Jos-al-in? Oh! I've got it! Jos-lynn. It's 'Joslynn.' That's a beautiful name. Definitely a woman's name too." 

'Joslynn' Fenris thought to himself. It was a beautiful name. Unlike any he'd ever heard of before. Danarius had hounded him about it when it had appeared. He'd threatened that if he ever found someone with that name, he'd torture them in front of Fenris. 

Fortunately, Danarius had never found anyone who went by it. It had always brought Fenris some peace to know that this person was safe still. 

 

"The question now is how do we find out if Jay is this 'Joslynn?' Coming right out and asking probably isn't our best approach." Hawke's brow furrowed more as she thought harder. 

"Ah! I have an idea. What if we just let her see your arm? Like leave your arm bare when she'll see it? And then we'll be able to tell based off her reaction." 

Fenris considered that idea. It wasn't a bad idea. Essentially letting her find out and going from there. If she didn't react, he would know it wasn't her. And if she did, he would have found his person. 

"Joslynn..." Fenris let the name roll from his tongue once more. He would wait. Wait for the time to test this 'Jay.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to all of my friends and family whose names I've shamelessly used for all of our extra characters. I won't use my own name, but I'm happy to be able to use those important to me as the basis for names and appearances.


	5. Desire ruled him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a while. Hopefully it was worth the wait. Our next chapter won't take as long. I promise

Chapter 5 

 

It was nearly a week before Hawke received word that Jay had awoken. Hawke had been anxiously awaiting the time when they could test Jay with Fenris. She was hopeful at finding her dear friend's other half. Fenris mattered so much to Hawke, and she wanted only happiness and peace for him. 

Which is why she had gotten ready in record time and made her way to Fenris' mansion immediately. Fenris hadn't been there, however. Which meant he was likely sparing with Travis. 

They'd started sparing the day after they first met and Travis had commented on how shitty Fenris' sword was. Following that up with a challenge. 

Sparing had become a daily ritual for them now. Hawke was happy for it if it meant Fenris couldn't sit in his decrepit mansion and drink himself away. 

Hawke made her way to the Hanged Man, intending to pick up Isabella and Varric to come along with her to Sundermount. The pirate had been itching to see Jay again, having taken a liking to her after their tavern party. 

Hawke made her side trip quick. Stopping only long enough to drag Isabella away from the bar and snatch Varric from his room upstairs. 

Hawke had planned to also bring Merrill along, but Merrill hadn't been there when she stopped by. Having no idea where Merrill may have wandered off to, Hawke couldn't waste time searching and left for the mountain. 

The journey was quick and buzzing with excitement. None of them had any idea what type of job they'd be completing. They only knew that the coin would be good. Isabella would be closer to getting her new ship if she didn't piss it away on rum. Again. Varric merely wanted to be apart of a job given directly by his legendary Nightingale. Hawke made a mental note to inquire about more of the stories surrounding this dark world figure. Varric didn't know much. He was occasionally a middle man for jobs she took, but that was all. 

Hawke wasn't one for beating around the bush, so she would just ask Jay directly. If she was lucky, Jay would tell her. 

The journey to Sundermount seemed to pass faster than ever before. As the party came upon the small castle, Hawke could see a flash of red on the roof. She shielded her eyes from the sun to try and make sense of the red flash. 

As Hawke's eye adjusted, she could see Aurora waving excitedly down at the group. 

"Come on up!!"

With that, Aurora disappeared. And at that moment, the front door opened to show the maid they'd met a week ago. She greeted them with a smile and gestured for them to enter. Mira, if Hawke remembered correctly. 

Hawke returned Mira's smile and made her way into the house. 

"Welcome again, my lady." Mira greeted them with a bow. "They're all on the roof training and sparing. Please follow me and I'll show you the way." 

 

After several floors of winding stairs, they came to the rooftop. The sun greeted them harshly once again. Hawke squinted while her eyes adjusted.

She should have expected it, but was surprised by how large the rooftop was. The walls surrounding it were high, preventing anyone from seeing the incredible training ground set up within. 

Hawke made her way to the group gathered around a strange set of bars standing tall. 

Fenris was watching the bars with an intense expression. Hawke turned to see Jay swinging wildly from them, occasionally flipping in the air before grabbing another set of bars and swinging from those. It was one of the strangest things Hawke had ever seen. 

Hawke turned her attention again to the group. Noticing Merrill amongst the faces of several strangers. Merrill waved cheerfully and motioned for Hawke to come to her. 

"Hawke! I'm so happy you're here! Do you know who these people are? They're amazing! Very amazing people! Can you guess what they do? They're assassins! Assassins, Hawke! They're part of the Crows! They've told me so many incredible stories! You have to hear them!" 

"It's good to see you too, Merrill." Hawke smiled. She loved this silly elf and her eccentric ways. 

"Daisy, you're always making friends wherever you go. Don't tell me you've replaced us already!" Varric feigned hurt. 

Merrill stood rapidly, "No! No! I would never..."

"He's joking, kitten. Relax. Who could ever replace our little family?" Isabella went to put her arm around Merrill and pull her back down into her seat on the ground. 

Hawke followed suit with Varric and joined the group. "What is that?" Hawke mused aloud. 

It was Brianna who responded. "A training system of sorts. You'd be shocked the type of muscle control and strength it takes to tackle those bars! She says it was a sport called "gymnastics" that she witnessed when she was younger. It was a huge and rigorous competition! The entire world would come together to compete for the best. None of us can come close to the training she does. Amazing, isn't it?" 

Hawke was noticing similarities with Brianna and Merrill in their personalities. It made her smile. "It is. Do you think I could try it out? I enjoy new things." 

"Oh no, Hawke. I don't think you should. Brianna got on them earlier and fell onto her face. Her nose bled and everything! It was very unpleasant. I really don't want you to fall on your face too." Merrill spoke quickly, worry thickly laced in her tone. 

"Thanks for the vote of confidence..." Hawke trailed off. "What are you doing here anyways? I went to get you earlier." 

"Jay sent for me! She said she doesn't like the alienage and told me she was going to take my belongings and bring them here. I'm not sure if she was serious or not though. The alienage isn't so bad. I get to be around other elves. It's just sad. It doesn't smell too lovely either. And the gangs often run throughout the streets...." Merrill paused. "She may have been serious." 

Hawke noticed Fenris' ears twitch at the mention of the alienage, but said nothing. She smiled at Merrill reassuringly. "I'd rather you live here than the alienage as well. You're always welcome to come live with me too."

"Two mages hiding under one roof in Kirkwall wouldn't be the smartest move.." Merrill clapped her hand over her mouth as her eyes widened. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say it!" 

Merrill turned towards the Crow members pleadingly, "Please keep that a secret. Hawke is very important to all of us and Kirkwall as well. If they found out she was a Mage it would be awful!" 

For the first time since Hawke's arrival, one of the Crows spoke. "We serve Nightingale. We stand along side anyone that she's allied with." The Crow turned his gaze to Hawke, "We are allied with you." 

With that, he turned back to watching Jay. Hawke sat in astonishment. She didn't know much of the Crows. But from what she'd heard, they only served whatever had the most coin at the time. Turning in mages could be profitable when done wisely. Hawke wondered what had brought on such devotion from assassins. 

Merrill still appeared apologetic, and Hawke smiled softly at her to let her know it was alright. Fenris was looking back at Hawke curiously. She nodded in his direction. 

They were good enough friends that Fenris understood that nod as confirmation to his unspoken question. She too was curious about how well connected Jay must be to have control over hired killers. 

With a soft thud, Jay gracefully landed. She stretched briefly before curling her fingers at the group. 

The Crows as well as Brianna, Travis, and Aurora all stood and gathered their weapons and armor. 

Merrill noticed her own friends appearing confused and came to their aid. "They're going to spar with Jay. She helps them train. They said she's very strong, so she fights against them all at once! I like her! She's very kind." 

Hawke laughed sharply, "She's going to fight them all at once? Without a weapon or shield? I know she's strong, but she can't be that strong. They're all highly skilled."

"Brianna told me to watch carefully. She said Jay will spar against us too, if we wish it. The Crow members come here in groups periodically just to train."

Isabella had been silent up until now. "Who exactly does she know in the Crows? I know several members. They aren't the type to ally or serve and trust outsiders." 

"I don't know." Merrill cocked her head to the side. "Brianna said one of her friends is mated to the Crows Leader."

"The leader? Pity for that poor girl." Isabella scoffed. 

"Brianna said Zevran is very kind. I don't think anyone needs to pity her if he is." 

Isabella choked on whatever response she may have had. Shock radiated through her. Zevran led the Crows now? What the hell had happened? Shaking her head, "So we're allowed to train with them?" 

Merrill nodded softly. 

"Good. I'm itching for a fight." Was all Isabella said before standing and making her way towards the group. 

Fenris stood and made his way beside Hawke. "Travis explained the way they spar to me earlier. Apparently, she only deflects their weapons. She uses her hands or feet and hits the weapons away."

Hawke's brow wrinkled. "That seems very dangerous. And not very effective for training. What good would that do?"

Fenris shrugged, "He said it's the same as hitting another weapon. The shock causes the weapons to vibrate, but that it's harder than what another weapon would cause. Travis said their hands often stop working and they can't hold their weapons anymore." 

"That's the strangest thing I've ever heard of. So it's actually useful? Just in ways you wouldn't normally consider? Interesting. Maybe I'll try it out today too." Hawke rose and took a step towards to fight before turning back to Fenris. "You stay here and watch. Maybe you'll learn her trick." 

Fenris nodded and watched as Hawke drew closer to the brawl. He despised being left with the blood mage. Fortunately, she wasn't speaking. 

The brawling lasted less than twenty minutes. Hawke dropped out first. Panting and sweating profusely. She huffed her way back to them before falling to the ground. 

"What is she? She can't be human. My hands hurt from having my swords hit over and over. They're shaking. Look!" Hawke shoved her hands in front of Fenris' eyes and waved them dramatically. 

"She's very strong. Brianna explained that I'd only understand once I saw it. I don't believe I want to fight with her." Merrill chimed in. 

"Well, Fen, could you figure anything out? I don't think Bella is going to last much longer. She was already cursing Jay to the Maker." 

No sooner than the words left Hawkes mouth, Isabella came stomping their way. She threw herself into a seated position and said nothing. Simply staring in the brawls direction. 

"Fenhedis." Fenris swore. "She's fast. And watched every move each of you made very carefully. Somehow, she's stopping all of you from ever hitting each other." Fenris paused and seemed to come to a realization. He looked towards Merrill and then back to Hawke. "She's the tiger." 

Both Hawke and Merrill caught onto what he was saying. Hawke thought back to when she'd first met Merrill. Not realizing Merrill was a blood mage, but also consorted with a demon. Fenris had told her to "ignore the tiger. Not its fault that it's going to eat you." 

Hawke pictured Jay as the tiger now. Blocking each attack as it came in. As though it had no effect on her. Maybe it didn't. She could kill all of them at once if she wanted. 

Hawke nodded. "Yes. She's definitely the tiger." 

"I'm quite unhappy that I didn't last as long as those Crows." Isabella's tone was biting. "How much fighting and sparing did she go through to get to this point?"

Having no answers, and more questions, the group turned their attention back to the ongoing fight. 

Within a few more minutes, Brianna and the all of the members of the Crows had also given up and retreated to the safety of the group. 

Brianna flung herself onto her back and stared at the sky. "Shit. Every time I think I'm a good fighter, I'm reminded again that I'm not." She sighed. "Ah well. Did you enjoy yourselves?" 

"I'm annoyed I was the first to fall. No one is using magic. Is there a reason?" Hawke joined Brianna in watching the clouds.

"Magic isn't as easy to deflect. You're risk the others being hit and hurt. So we stick to normal combat to ensure the best results." Brianna turned her gaze to Fenris.  
"What about you? You don't feel like playing?"

Fenris shrugged. He hadn't decided if he would try to fight her or not. If he did, he would need a plan. Simply swinging at her would get him nowhere. 

Only Travis and Aurora were left in the fight now. Both were losing their strength. Travis suddenly dropped his great sword and started charging at Jay full speed while Aurora looked dazed and confused over his actions. 

As Travis closed in on Jay, she dropped into to a deep squat and absorbed the full impact with her chest. She grabbed him by the biceps and spun on her heel, throwing Travis in the direction he'd been running. 

It all happened in a matter of seconds, but Fenris had caught every movement. That's when it clicked for him. Fenris now had a plan. 

"Hey! Are you dead, Travvy?" Aurora called out in between breaths. 

Travis had landed hard. And hadn't moved since. It was a full minute before Travis held a hand up and signaled with a thumbs up. Aurora laughed and jogged over to help Travis. 

Jay raised her arms above her head to stretch while rolling her head in slow circles. It wasn't until she was done that Fenris stood and readied his sword. 

Jay looked surprised for a moment before all emotion left her face. Perhaps she hadn't expected Fenris to show interest. If that was the case, it would only benefit the hasty plan Fenris had come up with. His plan would only work with as much surprise as he could gain. 

The roof was silent. All conversation had died when Fenris stood. Even Travis was propped up against a wall and watching, blood running from his nose. 

Fenris caught sight of Hawke grinning at him. She gave a slight nod and then went back to observing Jay as well. Hawke had more faith in whatever she thought Fenris was up to than he did. 

"Have you fought with the Fog Warriors?" Another flash of surprise at Fenris actually speaking to her. 

"No." Jay hesistated. "I don't know them." 

"You move like them. They taught me. Trained with me. Their movements were like a graceful dance. Beautiful and deadly."

Jay didn't respond, but confusion clouded her features. Fenris sighed inwardly at realizing, if she were his mate, that he'd actually found someone who might be worse at carrying on a conversation than he was. 'Beautiful and deadly' he'd said. He couldn't think of two better words to describe this tiny woman. 

Fenris gripped his sword tighter. He wouldn't use his lyrium markings yet. He was counting on those at least catching her off guard, even if she knew the capabilities. He'd rely only on his speed and strength. 

Fenris charged. The first impact had sent vibrations radiating through his arms. He's known to expect it, but it confirmed that he wouldn't be able to waste time having his swings blocked over and over. Losing strength wasn't an option. 

Fenris swung towards her legs. He felt nauseous. If he actually hurt her, he'd hate himself. He knew she wouldn't let that happen, but it did nothing to settle the uneasiness creeping through his core. She dodged easily. Simply jumping up and slamming a foot down on the sword. Fenris knew he couldn't afford to hesitate though. He swung again. And again. And again. 

He was analyzing her reactions. She was moving on instinct. She wasn't considering each swing he made and then reacting. No. It was as though her body simply did what it was used to. 

Fenris repressed a grin. If she was acting primarily on instinct, he could do this. As Fenris backed up several steps, he decided it was now or never. He had to take this chance. 

Fenris lowered his stance. Strength wouldn't matter for this. His arms ached already from the constant vibrating. 

He launched himself forward, seeing everything in slow motion. Once he was nearly right in front of her, he allowed his lyrium markings to flare. Fenris brought his sword back, readying for a strike. 

He watched as her mouth parted slightly in surprise. Her eyes widening while they took in the pale blue consuming his flesh. Her arms lowered only slightly. 

Fenris watched as her gaze went back to his sword. Trying to bring her arms back into place, but it was too late. Fenris swung towards her neck. 

Jay's only option was to duck. 

And she did. Fenris let go of his sword just as she ducked. Just before he tucked his head down, Fenris saw the look of shock cross her face. She'd realized her mistake. She'd realized that Fenris had caught her. 

Just before Fenris crashed into Jay, he caught the slightest hint of her smile. 

Fenris had tackled her. As soon as his body touched hers, his adrenaline mixed with desire. Her scent. Maker, her scent. He didn't think it would ever leave his nose. Deep and earthy. 

Fenris felt her legs wrap around his waist and pull him fully into her, as her arms wrapped around his head. His face was now pressed into her breasts. 

He felt them falling, but couldn't comprehend anything else. He felt her sweat dampened skin press against his lips. Touching her felt so good. 

What should've been seconds felt like an eternity as Fenris opened his mouth and let his tongue taste her. He couldn't stop himself. Desire ruled him. 

He nearly bit his tongue off as he felt Jays body collide with the ground. Her breath left her. But their bodies didn't stop. 

Fenris' force had been much more than he'd planned. Their bodies continued, like a ball rolling down a hill. Fenris tensed, expecting it to hurt when his own body made impact. Instead, he felt only Jay's sternum slam into his face and heard her hiss before she was slammed onto her back again. 

Thankfully, they stopped this time. Her grip didn't loosen for several seconds, but finally her arms and legs unwound themselves from him. Fenris pushed himself up and looked down at her. Embarrassed at their position and praying to the Maker that she didn't know he'd licked her. 

"No..." Fenris whispered. Blood. There was blood all over the ground surrounding her head. One of her shoulders looked strange as well. 

Fenris was about to call for help until her laugh. He looked back down and saw her smiling. 

"Fuck me...." 

Fenris felt his breath catch. What had she just said? Their faces were only inches apart. Her lips were parted slightly. Chest rising and falling as she breathed deeply. Her eyes were wide and round, awe mixed in with the surprise still lingering. 

She was so beautiful. Fenris wanted so badly to kiss her. To taste her lips instead of sweat slicked skin. He'd never felt this desire for someone. She overpowered all of his senses without even trying. 

Fenris knew little about soulmates. But he was sure she had to his. 

He watched her face change slightly. Eyes widening even more as a blush crept into her features. Embarrassment took over the surprise and awe in her expression. Fenris was confused. 

And then it hit him. He'd gotten hard. And his groin was still pressed tightly against her. 

Heat rushed through him. 

"Fenhedis!" 

Fenris cursed and pushed himself from her. 

"I apologize. I didn't.. I wasn't.." 

"Yup. Yup." Jay nodded her head quickly. Still blushing wildly. "Mhmm." 

The two sat staring at the ground as footsteps quickly approached. 

Everyone was excited. Congratulating Fenris on his success and questioning his strategy. Hawke had asked if Jay was fine after seeing the blood. But Jay only mumbled about it already having healed. 

Finally, Brianna spoke up, "So we should go inside and discuss the job, yes? We can all get cleaned up." 

Fenris tore his eyes from the ground long enough to see Jay run towards the door and disappear inside. 

"What's wrong with her?" Travis grumbled.

Fenris stood and made his way inside with the rest of the group. The crows bid their farewell before going inside though. Something about having an appointment to keep. 

"Well. Time to shower!" Brianna led the way back to Jay's bedroom. 

"Damn. I'm ready for a hot bath!" Aurora groaned in ecstasy. "I want to wash my hair." 

Hawke and Isabella agreed cheerily. When Fenris said nothing, Hawke slowed her pace until she was at his side. 

"What's wrong with you?" Hawke whispered. 

Fenris shrugged. "Nothing." 

"Bullshit, Fen. Your ears are red and Jay red off blushing just as hard. What happened in your little tumble together?"

Fenris blushed harder at her words and stumbled slightly. 

Hawke gasped. "Wait a second. Something DID happen? What was it? Did you bite her in the boob?" 

"No!" Fenris snarled. She was close. But he'd be damned if he told her what he'd done when his face was buried in Jay's breasts. 

"You did! I can tell by your reaction! Don't tell me you got hard from it too?" Hawke joked. 

When Fenris didn't respond, Hawke stopped with her mouth hanging open. "Oh shit, Fenris. Tell me you didn't! Did she say anything?" 

"No. I apologized to her." 

"I can believe you dry humped her, Fenris. But I wonder if she liked it? She didn't slap you. Most women would have. So maybe she liked it?" 

"I very much doubt it. You saw her run away." 

Hawke sighed. "Come on. Let's get cleaned up. We'll figure this out afterwards. I'm sure that tumble has your markings irritated." 

 

Fenris froze. "Hawke.. it didn't hurt. She touched my markings, and it didn't hurt. I didn't think about it until now." 

Hawke stopped and turned around, shocked. "Oh shit."


	6. She looked at you with such longing.

The group cleaned up relatively quickly. Hawke was barely keeping her amusement in check. Coughing frequently to hide her snickers. Fenris was growing increasingly annoyed at her antics. He didn't enjoy being the source of her amusement. He was already embarrassed enough over what he'd done. How was he supposed to face Jay after grinding his dick against her? 

Fortunately for him, he hadn't seen her when everyone bathed. It had been awkward for him. Everyone was in the same room separated only by thin sheets. They'd all been laughing and conversing. It was clearly the norm for them. Whereas he'd already felt horrified at having to bathe with Hawke beside him the first time he'd been here. 

Isabella had been trying to peek at everyone, hoping to "catch the goods."  
Fenris hadn't been amused and had told her he'd tear the eyes from her head if she tried it with him. She'd pouted momentarily and then moved on to trying to catch Travis. He'd had turned a shade bright enough to put even his hair to shame. 

They'd emerged from the bathroom to find Jay lounging in a strange chair shaped like a bowl. It was hanging from the ceiling and she was swaying back and forth towards a large window facing the coastline. She didn't face them as they emerged but lifted her arm to wave them towards the seats behind her. 

As they sat down, she kicked her legs up and leaned backwards, forcing the chair the face them. She repositioned herself to face them, her eyes never leaving the papers in her hands. 

"Shall we get down to business then, Hawke?" Jay lifted her eyes to meet Hawkes. 

Hawke put on her business face and leveled Jay with a hard look. "Before than, we have things that need to be discussed." Jay raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "The last time we took a job with you, we found out you hold some strange power. We still don't know anything about that. We don't know what any of you are capable of or how to work with you. That puts my friends and I at risk when shit starts. I can't do that anymore. We need to know more about all of you." 

Jay's gaze flickered toward her three companions briefly before waving her hand dismissively. "They can tell you whatever they want about themselves." 

Hawkes gaze hardened. "And what about you? You're the biggest concern here. I believe we deserve to know who you are. What you are. You expect us to blindly trust you?" 

"No." 

Hawke waited for Jay to continue. When she didn't, Hawke snorted and rolled her eyes. "No? Exactly what part of that are you referring to?" 

"Trusting me. Don't do it."

Hawke was momentarily surprised and her brows raised high, before she gave an empty laugh.

"No. I think you need to give in here. Someone I care deeply for is mated to someone you care deeply for. That ties us together. There needs to be some compromise in this. I won't take no for an answer on this matter." 

"I suppose it's helpful then that I never asked for an answer. I've no need to work with you or your group. I was simply doing you a favor with this job. I thought you might appreciate it." 

Now Hawke was mad. "A favor? I don't take favors from people. I do favors for people. I don't need help from someone who acts like a self-righteous bitch." Hawke stood abruptly and began walking towards the door. So abruptly that the group didn't stand with her and simply looked on in surprise. It didn't take much to anger Hawke, but no one had expected her to react this way. 

Fenris watched Jay carefully, fearful that she'd be angry over Hawke's name calling. He was surprised when he found Jay smiling cheerily. She looked like she'd won a prize. 

"A bitch I may be. I'll give Sebastian your regards then." 

Hawke froze mid-step. She didn't turn around as she spoke. "What do you know of my mate? What the fuck does that have to do with anything?" 

Jay's smile widened and she held up a folded letter. "If you'll come back up here, I'll let you find out from him yourself." 

Isabella chuckled, "You play the game well, my pretty. It's not often that someone forces Hawke to take their bait and corners her too." 

Hawke sighed deeply before turning and making her way back. She took the letter from Jay and read it quickly. The last time she'd seen Sebastian, he'd been leaving for Starkhaven. Problems had arisen and he was needed there. She hadn't received a letter from him yet, and couldn't deny the worry she felt for it. 

Hawke's heart started beating painfully fast. She felt panicky as she read through his letter. She knew for certain it was from him. Jay wasn't lying. It's what the letter said that had Hawke worried and fearful. 

"When? When did you get this?" Hawke's voice had turned hollow. 

"I heard rumors the day before I slept. The letter came four days ago. Had the letter not come, I was still planning to go."

Varric cleared his throat, "Care to fill the rest of us in, Hawke?" 

Hawke didn't respond immediately. Struggling to keep her cool over this all. Would she know if Sebastian had been hurt? Would she be able to tell? What if he was already hurt? Or worse?

Jay spoke up in her place. "Darkspawn. Sebastian wasn't aware of the situation before he went. He only knew it was an emergency that needed to be tended to without delay. Upon arriving, he realized darkspawn were ravaging Starkhaven. He wrote to me seeking assistance. He didn't write to Hawke because he didn't want to worry her or pull her away from any duties she had here." She sighed. "He underestimated the situation."

Isabella swore under her breath. The group turned its attention to Hawke. 

Hawke appeared to be losing control of her emotions quickly. Tears already swelling in her eyes even as she fought them off. Her throat felt tight. She wasn't sure what she should say or do. She couldn't lose him too. She just couldn't. 

"You would know, Marian." Jay spoke softly. "The name would grow cold. Like ice. That's how you'd know."

Hawke felt some of her panic ease. "Thank you." 

"Normally the grief is so great that a person doesn't notice the cold before it's already started to fade." Hawke nodded and went back to her seat. She rested her head in her hands to compose herself. 

"Hawke, we leave at midnight. You should go pack necessities and pick who you intend to bring. This will be a difficult journey. Please only choose those who can withstand traveling by fade tied means." 

Hawke nodded. "Fenris, Varric, and Anders."

"Anderson is at the clinic today. I can call for him using magic." Brianna offered. 

Hawke nodded. "Isabella, please watch over my mansion. I don't know how long we'll be gone." 

"No problem, sweets. Leave it to Bella." 

"I'm going too!" Merrill spoke suddenly. 

"No." Travis spoke in a hard tone, though his face showed only worry. 

"I'm going, Travis. I won't be left behind if you're going." 

"This isn't a debate. You aren't going. It's too dangerous." Travis was growing more and more irritated as Merrill argued. 

The rest of Hawke's companions looked on curiously. 

"Anyone want to explain that?" Varric spoke in an amused tone. 

"They're mated. They found out a few days ago." Brianna spoke in a chipper tone. 

Travis blushed deeply and Merrill was smiling sweetly. 

"Well shit, Daisy. I suppose congratulations are in order." Varric laughed. 

"Ohhhh, that explains why you've been here so much." Isabella raised her eyebrows. "You must be so... busy. Getting to know your mate." 

Merrill didn't catch Isabella's meaning. "Yes. He's quite sweet. And very kind. I believe I'm fortunate to have him. He's so handsome too!" 

Travis said nothing, but turned his eyes to the ground as the blush reached his ears. 

Hawke was silent through this all. She was happy for Merrill and wished she could express that happiness. She simply couldn't shake the fear she felt. She wouldn't be okay until she saw Sebastian with her own eyes. 

Jay cleared her throat to get their attention. 

"We'll have an early dinner. And then everyone should try to get some rest before we leave. You won't have a chance to rest easily for quite some time." With that, she repeated her earlier motion and flipped her chair to face the window once again. Resuming her swinging. 

All but Hawke and Fenris dispersed. Fenris wanted to make sure Hawke was alright. He knew she was strong, but she'd lost enough already. Losing Sebastian might truly break her. 

Hawke stood, intending to go outside and clear her head. 

"Marian." 

Hawke turned back to Jay. 

"I'm unable to tell you what I am. It isn't knowledge I can entrust to just anyone. However, I will give you the name my companions call me by." 

Fenris watched at Jay glanced upwards before continuing. She sighed gently and Fenris imagined she had closed her eyes. 

"You may call me Desi. Des. Or Destroyer. It's the name I've gone by for many, many years. Given to me after I did something horrible. That's as intimate as I can be with you at this time." Jay rose from her seat and turned to stare directly at Hawke. "While I hope you understand, I want to make something clear. Do not ever attempt to corner me. Never. You will never win. And I am rarely unreasonable." 

Jay turned her gaze to Fenris, and she blushed softly. She maintained eye contact and her gaze softened towards him. After a few moments, Jay closed her eyes before sitting once again. Jay fought the urge to stare at him. Her past never ceased to haunt her, it seemed. Her existence thrived on her misery. 

Hawke had watched the exchange carefully. She respected Jay. And though her stubborn nature inclined her to argue, she bit her tongue. She sensed that the woman in front of her was a battle she would never win. 

Hawke gave a slight smile at her small victory. At least she now had a more personal name, even though it wasn't her true name. Which only raised more questions. 

Hawke motioned to Fenris for them to leave and Fenris followed. 

Jay listened to them leave and felt relief. The sight of the elf threatened to tear open wounds that she'd long since forgotten. She didn't want to think of it anymore. She didn't want to remember. And so she did what she always did when her past threatened to drown her: she opened another bottle and began to drink. Attempting to numb the dull ache. 

"How pathetic you are, Destroyer." Jay spoke quietly to herself. "All these years, all this time, and you're still weak." 

She drank deeply, "So pathetic." 

Staring out the window, she watched the waves crash and roll hypnotically. 

 

 

"Hawke?" 

Fenris spoke softly. Hawke had helped him through many hard times, and he wished to provide that same comfort for her. 

 

"I can't lose him, Fen. I just can't." 

"I know. I believe he is well. Sebastian is strong." 

"You're right." Hawke lowered herself to the ground and rubbed her temples. "I just can't help worrying about the darkspawn. He sent for reinforcements. He sent for a professional, underground reinforcement. To do that, he'd have to be in trouble. Maker only knows how he's aware of her existence when even Varric barely knew her." 

"We will handle the darkspawn. Take your fear and anger out on them when we arrive. It'll do you good." 

Hawke nodded. "Fenris, do you get the feeling that she's something unbelievable? She doesn't seem human. She looks human and she bleeds. But something about her just doesn't feel right. If she's the one for you, I'm worried for you. But the look she gave you confuses me. She looked at you with such longing. How strange is that?" 

"I do not know. But I still feel this pull for her. I think of little else."

Fenris shook his head and sat with Hawke. He'd only met her a week ago. And she already consumed his mind. Even while he feared everything she was. She was certainly a dangerous mystery. And yet he wanted more. 

"Well. How should we pass the next few hours? Perhaps some wicked grace?" 

Fenris chuckled. "Let us show our new companions how to play then. We'll take it easy on them." 

Hawke grinned at that. They'd destroy them. 

 

"What the fuck is happening?" Hawke was exasperated. None of her friends had won a single hand. Even with Isabella cheating and Fenris and Varric's stonewall faces. 

Isabella swore loudly before downing her ale. 

Merrill was giggling from her seat on Desi's lap. In between hands, Desi was playing with her hair gently. 

"Shall we deal again then? Perhaps this will be the one for you." Desi wasn't being smug. She spoke indifferently. It only added to Hawke's irritation. 

With Merrill not playing, they'd split into two sides. Anders had arrived when they'd first dealt and had accepted his fate after the first hand. Varric was stuck in a state of disbelief. And Fenris just seemed confused. 

Aurora was busting at the seams with laughter. Even Travis was amused. 

Brianna finally spoke up. "I'd be shocked if there was actually a game she couldn't win." 

Desi smiled. "I've had a lot of practice after all." She turned her attention to the window. The sun had set long ago. Dinner had come and gone. And most of the staff had turned in for the night. 

 

"It's time." Desi moved to stand and Merrill shot up. Merrill had been curious about their means of traveling ever since she'd decided to come along. Desi had not obliged her the information. Insisting Merrill wait and see. 

The mood shifted back to a tense one. Belongings were gathered in silence and they followed her down to the cellar. Or what should've been a cellar. Instead, it was a winding maze of stone. Leading to random rooms or to other hallways. It would be a simple thing to get lost down here. There were no torches to light the way. Only the mage light Brianna used to keep them from getting separated. 

Hawke couldn't tell how long had passed before Desi came to a stop at a dead end. Hawke almost commented on her getting them lost. In the next moment, Desi placed her hands on the stones and they began to pull apart. Tucking one behind another until a small doorway had formed. She ushered them all inside ahead of her, before closing the doorway the same way she'd opened it. 

Brianna's magelight went out and they were surrounded in darkness. Hawke started to bring forth her own before she felt a hand on hers. It pushed her hand down to her side before moving away. 

She could feel the tension growing around her. Not from her own companions, but from the newcomers. These three trusted her completely. Without ever wavering. If the Destroyer put them in an uncomfortable position, they held fast. And never questioned her actions or motives. But these new ones didn't know her. They didn't know she wouldn't harm them. Not when two were mated to her dear friends. And not when another reminded her so deeply of someone she tried to forget. 

Before their anxiety could grow further, Desi lit the room. Beautiful blue light poured from the ceiling. 

She watched as Hawke and her friends scanned the room they could now see. It was bare. Except for a single item behind Desi. 

Merrill gasped. "You-you? How? Why? Where did you get one? They've been lost to the Dalish for centuries. How do you have one here? Did you repair it? How did you repair it? Was it broken? Does it work?" 

Desi smiled softly. She'd expected this excitement from Merrill. She was growing to care for this sweet woman. Her enthusiasm lightened the room more. 

"There's no time. We have to go now. Would you like to see how it works?" 

Merrill nodded so hard that her neck threatened to snap. She hurried over to Desi's side and started admiring the mirror. It looked similar to her own, except her own was broken and worn. Merrill never imagined she'd see one in perfect condition. There wasn't a flaw on it. Not even a smudge on the glass. 

"So lovely.." Merrill trailed off. Tears gathered in her eyes as she stared at it. It was more beautiful than she could've imagined an Eluvian would be. "You'll tell me won't you?" 

Desi nodded slightly. "When we have time. For now, we need to go." 

Desi turned to face the mirror and leaned close. Her lips were nearly touching it and they began to move softly. She was speaking, but no one could hear the words. 

Fenris watched her lips shaping silent words. And incantation? Or a spell? Desi's lips slowed to a stop and she leaned away. 

The mirror lit up suddenly. Swirling magnificently. The frame glowed slightly. The power emanating from it was incredible. 

"So this is what your people used every day once? I'm impressed." Hawke spoke with genuine appreciation. This was a magic their current world couldn't fathom or unlock. If the legends were correct about their abilities, an active one being here was unbelievable. 

"The Dalish were quite the people." Varric whistled. 

"It's marvelous! Oh Travis, we're going to use it aren't we? Please say we will!" 

Travis laughed at Merrill. His gaze soft and caring. "That's why we came here, darling." 

 

"Okay. So here are the rules. You follow me. At all times. You don't wander off. If you do, I will leave you behind. And you'll be stuck until I decide to collect you. Don't touch anything. Just don't. It'll be bad. We need to move quickly. So keep any questions to a minimum for now. We'll have time to talk later." 

Everyone nodded. Time was of the essence. The sooner they got to Starkhaven, the better. 

Without another word, she turned and walked into the Eluvian. 

The others soon followed and the sense of awe was contagious. There were mirrors everywhere. None were lit up, and some were broken like Merrill's. Desi walked up to the ones that weren't shattered and spent a few seconds touching them before shaking her head and moving on to the next one. 

"Starkhaven... Starkhaven.... Starkhaven. You're here somewhere, you asshole. I should've made a map when I put these stupid things up. Gonna add that to my to-do list." 

Fenris was the closest to her, so he was the only one who heard what she said. What did she mean when she put them up? Was this not the work of the old eleven gods? Maybe she found them and repaired them as the blood mage was working to do? Fenris nodded to himself. Yes. That made sense. She had the coin to buy them on top of that. She must be a collector. Danarius collected such treasures too. 

He prickled as his old master entered his thoughts. He couldn't allow himself to be distracted right now. Hawke needed him. And against dark spawn, he needed his focus. A distraction would prove fatal. 

"Ha!!" Fenris jumped at the sudden outburst. She had stopped in front of a mirror and it was already glowing in front of her. 

"Here we go, baby! Okay, this is our stop. Let's go wreck shit." 

And she leapt into the mirror. 

"She has the most idiotic way of talking." Travis rolled his eyes as he spoke, and then he too, went through the mirror. The others followed quickly before the mirror faded to its original state. 

They were in a small area. Surrounded by rocks. It could be a cave. She'd already illuminated the room for them by opening a door opposite of the mirror. 

She stood in the middle of the opening staring outside. The sun was shining. She stepped out slowly and turned her nose to the sky, inhaling deeply. 

Her brow wrinkled. 

"What's wrong?" Brianna stepped to her side. 

"I have to go ahead without you." 

"What? Why?" Travis' tone took on a note of concern.

Desi faced them before she spoke. 

"I smell blood and smoke. And darkspawn." 

Hawke inhaled sharply.

"No. Please no."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this story is still interesting to you readers 


	7. Apples and Potatoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Into the Deeproads we go!

"Just head that way. It'll take you to Starkhaven. I'll see you there." Desi pointed towards a forest. 

"Take me with you. Please." Hawke begged. 

"No. You're heavy and you'd slow me down. Stay with the group. It should only take you about 20 minutes to get there." 

Desi slipped her boots off and shoved them in her pack. She took her pants off quickly, leaving her in tiny shorts. Next was her shirt. It left her in a bralette. Travis had told Fenris what it was a few days prior when he'd asked. He’d been so curious about the lace scrap she wore so frequently. 

Shoving her clothes in her pack, she tossed it to Travis. He caught it and swung it over his shoulder with a nod. "Have fun." 

"You're carrying my precious cargo, dude. So don't fuck up." 

Travis rolled his eyes. "Like I would ever put your treasure at risk."

Desi nodded before turning and running in the direction she'd pointed out to them. She was only visible for a few seconds before her speed made her disappear entirely into the forest. 

"Will she be alright alone?" Fenris couldn't control the uneasiness settling into his stomach. 

Travis laughed. "She'll be fine. If we run, we might get there just as she finishes up. Think all of you can keep pace?"

Everyone nodded. But Travis smirked. They weren't used to the type of running the Sins were. He'd set a lower pace to maintain with them. Travis was sure it would insult them to know how far below his family they were in physical capabilities. 

"Then it's time to get moving."

 

The emerged from the forest to a pile of darkspawn. Stacked neatly in rows. And very much dead. 

"Just pull them out!" 

"I can't! Maker forgive me. I never meant to- I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. You were so fast. You were just there before I could stop the arrow." 

"Okay. So pull them out! It's fine! Just pull them out!" 

"Maker help me, but I can't! I feel like I may be sick." 

They heard a frustrated growl and rounded the darkspawn pile to see Desi. With several arrows through her abdomen and stomach. 

"We don't have a healer! When Anders arrives, he'll know what to do." 

She growled again. "I don't need a damned healer. Just pull these stupid arrows out of me!" 

As she finished speaking, she turned her head and caught sight of them. She rushed over, going straight to Travis. "Travvy! Be a dear and pull this shit out of me already. They went it at odd angles and are barbed. So I can't do it myself without tearing more." 

Close up, Fenris could see she had four arrows through her going in several directions. She was bleeding slowly, the arrows keeping the wounds sealed as best they could. Fenris felt bile rise and his stomach turn. He whipped around.  
"Abomination! Heal her! Now!" 

Anders had been staring at Desi in shock, but shook his head and moved to heal her. 

"NO!"

Desi flew backwards to put distance between her and Anders. "Go away. Shoo. I don't need a healer. Leave me alone. No." 

Anders stepped towards her again before Travis stopped him. "She's fine. She heals on her own." Travis moved behind Desi as he scanned her back. 

"Damn. They all went in near each other. I can't decide which will be easiest to pull first." Travis grumbled to himself. 

"Do Eenie Meenie Miney Moe then. Just pick one. I'm hungry." 

Travis shook his head and grabbed a random arrow. He braced his hand against her shoulder and yanked the arrow through. 

Desi hissed and scrunched up her nose. She made no other noise as Travis moved to the second arrow. Nor when the third came. She had a head ache and wanted food. She was growing irritable and wanted to heal so she could find food and take a nap. 

Travis set his hand on the next arrow. Pain shot through Desi and blinded her for a moment. She choked out a cry. 

"My kidney. That one went through my kidney." Desi gasped out. Her breathing sped up from pain. She hadn't realized an organ had been pierced. 

It was probably dumb luck a kidney was the only one though, she thought to herself. 

She took a deep breath and nodded, clenching her fists. 

Travis took his cue, and yanked the arrow through quickly. Desi inhaled sharply, but didn't move. 

Desi fell to her hands and knees, breathing deeply. 

Fenris was there before he even realized his feet had moved. His hands on her shoulders, supporting her and keeping her upright. 

He looked down at her stomach to see tiny red sparks and swirls flowing over the wounds. Pulling the skin tight and sealing the holes. 

Her eyes stayed closed until all the wounds were healed. The drying blood the only indication she'd ever been injured. 

"See? No healers. I'm good to go." She sighed deeply. 

Desi didn't move away from him though. So Fenris stayed. He sensed she wasn't quite ready to move and stand. A chocolate bar was thrust in between their faces. 

Brianna was holding it out to Desi. Desi laughed hollowly. "You do love me." 

Brianna smiled sweetly, "Of course I do!" 

Desi lifted a hand to take the chocolate and greedily shoved it all in her mouth. She rocked back, away from Fenris, and fell on her butt. 

"Damn. Getting hurt still hurts. Wasn't even the damn darkspawn. Those morons and their arrows got me instead." 

Fenris turned to find Hawke, but she was gone. His eyes scanned quickly, finally finding her in Sebastian's arms. She was holding him tightly, the two sharing a kiss. She was probably crying. Fenris turned his gaze away, not wanting to intrude on their moment together. 

He rose and held out a hand to Desi. Desi stared at his hand and then looked to his face. She was assessing something, but whatever it might be, Fenris didn't know. Finally she took his hand and allowed Fenris to help her to her feet. 

Desi held his gaze a moment longer before turning to the ground and mumbling, " I wonder if they have potatoes?" 

Varric burst out laughing and Fenris snorted. 

"Only the Nightingale could wind up a pin cushion and then ask for food. Your reputation is holding true!" Varric kept laughing as he began toward town, "Come on. Let's go find the hero of the day a potato.” 

"What exactly are people whispering about me now? Desi smirked and followed. “Think they have apples too?" 

"Did you really have 5 teeth ripped out and ask for a banana?" 

Their laughter faded as she and Varric walked off. 

Fenris' stomach grumbled. Apples sounded delicious. He found himself hoping they really would have some. 

A hand clamped onto his shoulder and gave a slight shake.  
Travis was grinning at him, Merrill under his other arm.

Merrill was staring at him intensely. 

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? " Fenris snapped. 

"You're in love." 

Heat rose to his ears, "I am not." 

"Every time she looks away, you stare at Desi with those sad puppy eyes." Merrill giggled softly behind her hand. 

"There are no puppy eyes." 

Before Merrill could say anything else, Fenris stalked off. He could still hear her soft laugh behind him. It made him angry. 

No. Perhaps not angry. But he was embarrassed and frustrated that she'd noticed his feelings. Apparently everyone had. Was he so obvious? Fenris shook his head and walked faster. 

 

"Apples and potatoes, apples and potatoes!" Desi was singing quietly to herself. She wore the widest smile and her eyes sparkled. Over food. Fenris desperately wished to be the potato she was gazing at with such love and affection. 

He shoved his own apple into his mouth. He was jealous of a potato now? What was this woman turning him into? Fasta Vass. 

She was inhaling her food, stopping only occasionally to quietly sing about her food. Fenris was sure she'd eaten at least 6 potatoes at this point. He'd lost track of the number of apples she'd consumed. Her appetite was both impressive and scary. 

The citizens of Starkhaven had been coming by to thank her, describing how she'd rescued them just as they'd lost hope. Each time, she would shove food in her mouth to avoid speaking with them, and look very uncomfortable with their praise. 

Sebastian had noticed her discomfort and had asked his people to leave her be. He'd told them she was tired and needed to rest and eat. Telling them he would thank her in their place instead. 

He'd attempted to discuss payment with her before being cutoff and told that she didn't kill darkspawn for money. Sebastian had demanded to reward her in some form and they'd gone back and forth for a while before she finally relented and agreed to be paid in alcohol. 

Varric had laughed and joked that he didn't know who was worse: Isabella, Fenris, or Desi. 

Travis had laughed and told them Desi would drink Isabella and Fenris into their graves. That she drank alcohol like most people drank water. 

True to his words, Desi had started drinking the moment her "payment" had been delivered. 

She didn't seem the type to sing so childishly, so Fenris assumed the alcohol played a part in her current mood. He found it endearing. 

The sun had begun to set when she rose and stretched. 

"Time to go, time to go!" She sung in a whimsical voice again. 

Travis smirked. "Are you drunk enough for this or should we take a few more bottles?" 

Desi froze and looked genuinely perplexed. As though this were a very important question she hadn't yet considered. Merrill giggled and Hawke couldn't help but smile. Everyone seemed to be pleased by the childish mood Desi was displaying. Fenris found his arms itching to wrap around her. 

She snapped suddenly. "Take the big bottles. They didn't feel right. Nope. Didn't feel right." 

"Ooookay." Travis was frowning now. Desi had turned and was skipping towards the treeline. She didn't seem concerned, but Travis began to feel suspicious. He knew he wouldn't get an answer out of her in her current condition. Drunk she may be, but she wouldn't spill her secrets just from a bit of rum. 

She continued skipping away as the other gathered their belongings and readied themselves. 

"Sebastian, you should stay behind and help your people. They need you. And who knows how long we'll be gone? Last time I went into the deep roads, things didn't go as planned." 

"The Maker himself couldn't keep me from your side." Sebastian's tone left no room for debate. 

Hawke knew that tone. She knew there was no changing his mind. She also know of their roles were reversed, only death could keep her from his side. 

Brianna jogged to catch up to Desi, who was now crouched down in front of a small girl. As Brianna got closer, she saw the girl was crying. 

"What do I do now? My pa is dead. I'm alone now." 

Desi said nothing, but watched the girl cry. When the group grew close, she called out, "What happens to your orphans?" 

Sebastian frowned. "We'll do our best to care for her. The orphanage was destroyed. Fortunately no one was injured. But we'll do what we can." 

"Hmm." Desi looked back to the girl. "Hey. Come live with me." 

The girl, Fenris could see she was perhaps 7 years old at most, stopped her soft crying and stared at Desi in confusion. "What?" 

"It'll be fun. There are other children. You can play with them. They're interesting. What do you say?" 

The young girl rubbed her nose with the back of her hand and wiped her tears away. "You want me?" 

Desi nodded softly. Giving the child the most gentle of smiles, and reaching out to ruffle her hair. 

The young girl began to sob again and threw herself into Desi's arms. She nodded over and over. Her tears had turned to those of relief and happiness now. 

It was several minutes before the girls crying calmed and the tears stopped. She was still choked up as she thanked Desi. 

Desi wiped a stray tear away and smiled at the girl again. "What's your name?"

"Viera, my lady." 

"Call me Desi. Viera, I need you to wait here until we come back. And then I'll take you home. Can you do that for me?" 

Viera nodded quickly before hesitantly leaning in to kiss Desi on the cheek. She smiled for the first time and ran back towards town. She glanced back occasionally until they could no longer see her in the darkness. 

As if it had suddenly occurred to her, Desi turned to Sebastian. "Oh. She's mine now.” 

Sebastian was speechless. "You take in orphans? That’s kind of you.”

Desi frowned. “Someone has to.” 

“How many children do you have?” 

 

“I don’t know. Four? Counting her. She’s a mage. That’s why I took her in.” 

Sebastian sputtered. “She’s a mage? How could you tell? You didn’t even know her name.” 

“Her connection to the fade. It’s strong for her age. She probably doesn’t even know she’s a mage yet. Considering the stigma this world has against mages, I’m sure she has ignored any indications she had.”

Hawke chimed in, “Will you tell the Circle about her?” 

Desi’s lips curled in disgust, “The Circle? You mean that sad excuse for a jail? Fat chance of that. She’s a child. She should be allowed to grow up without the fear of being forced into an ever growing prison.” 

Fenris felt his attitude shift. “The Circle is necessary for mages that can’t control themselves.” 

Desi turned slowly to face Fenris. Rage burned in her eyes and her fists clenched. She took slow and deliberate steps towards Fenris, and he found himself wanting to step backwards with every step. He wouldn’t back down though. He wouldn’t appear weak against a tiny woman. 

“Oh sure, elf. Because forcing people to abide by strict ways of life is the best option. That isn’t living. An elf should know all about that. Specifically one that’s been a slave. Was it fun? Living under the thumb of another? Was it a happy existence? Surviving only at the whim of those who controlled you? Tell me, Fenris, how could you ever advocate that type of existence?” 

Fenris felt his anger consume his mind. He understood the words she was saying. He knew on some level that she was right. But he couldn’t stop his past from haunting him. 

“I have seen what mages can do when there is no one to keep them in check. I have seen the horrors mages will bring on. The pain they cause everyone around them. Mages cannot resist that temptation and power. They give in.” 

Desi laughed darkly. She saw the flash of hurt on Hawke’s face before Hawke had looked away. Fenris didn’t even know he’d hurt his dear friend. The fool. 

“Blood magic? Blood magic is only bad by the standards of those who say it is. Blood magic serves as much a purpose as magic of any other kind. Any type of power can be abused. That is not exclusive to mages. You don’t get to decide that all mages are bad before they’ve even had a chance to be good. You let one bad mage cloud your entire opinion. A biased opinion isn’t worth shit. If you are too blinded to see the beauty magic can create, then I pity you.” Desi sneered at him. She knew she was pushing his buttons. She knew she was preying on his past trauma. She knew it would hurt him to have it all brought up. But she also knew it was likely to only way she’d get him to see how wrong he was. 

She knew what his prior master had inflicted upon him. She’d done her research on Hawke and her companions when she’d first come to Kirkwall. Marian had become an important figure in the city, and it was always wise to investigate those who held an important role. 

She’d found herself somewhat fascinated by the elf ever since then. He was beautiful. And he looked just like him.

Desi watched his fury consume his expression and she maintained her perfectly neutral one. He would explode on her. And seeing as he had nowhere to run and hide, he’d be forced to consider everything she’d said. She knew he found her attractive, and she was using that to her advantage here. 

“You- You have no idea what you’re saying. You couldn’t begin to imagine.” Fenris’ words came out as a hiss. “You know nothing about me.” 

“Do I need to?” 

Fenris didn’t respond, but his glare intensified. 

“Everyone has skeletons in their closet, Fenris. You aren’t the only one who’s ever suffered at the hands of another. You’re just someone who lets that suffering rule his life. Strength is accepting the bad shit that’s happened to you and moving on as a better person from it. Hating mages doesn’t make you better. It doesn’t even make you good.” 

Desi turned her back on Fenris. Now was the time to walk away. 

She heard the footsteps of her friends behind her and then the footsteps of the others as well. 

Hawke lingered behind. She laid a hand on Fenris’s shoulder and gave him a soft smile. She had to agree with Desi however. And she hoped one day Fenris would see the wisdom in her words. 

“Some mate, huh? You’ve got a challenge ahead of you, Fen.” 

“The woman will be the death of me.” Fenris gave a deep sigh. His anger was still there, but it was fading. Normally he’d be angry for days at the least. But he was finding it hard to stay angry at Desi. That only made him feel more certain that she was his soulmate. And that just annoyed him on top of his anger. 

Why had he been given a mate with such an attitude? 

Fenris and Hawke walked quickly to catch up to the group. Fenris didn’t speak, and no one commented on what had been said. A small relief. 

 

The sky had grown a deep black by the time they reached their destination. It was a small opening in the side of small mountain. Barely visible unless you knew to look for it. It’s likely none of them would’ve seen it had Desi not walked directly up to it and gone inside. 

The group followed close behind, with Anders trailing behind. 

“It’ll be okay, Anders. The Calling shouldn’t be so bad with the spell I’ll use on you.” Brianna said softly. “Let’s go, my love.” 

Though reluctant, Anders signed deeply and stepped in the hellish deeproads. 

“Brianna.” 

Brianna turned to see Travis step from the shadows. 

“Oh! I thought you’d already gone in. What’s up?”

Even though they were alone, Travis stepped close enough that only Brianna would’ve been able to hear. 

“Something is wrong here. She noticed earlier, but you know she won’t tell us. We should prepare ourselves for the worst here.”

“I thought so too. We always run into trouble down here, but something just feels so” Brianna paused, “wrong. We’ll let her go ahead this time. We’ll stay back and keep a safe distance.” 

Travis nodded, before following Bri down into the abyss.


End file.
